Booze Reviews | Pals

Booze Reviews | Pals

Pals offers three gentle RTDs. They’re unoffensive, decently strong, and come in pretty colors, just like the Powerpuff Girls and, just like the Powerpuff Girls, they’re what I’d give my children to play with. They’ve got fruit in them! That’s pretty good parenting in my books. 

Look, if you don't like seltzers, don’t bother. You already know what this is about to be. Pal’s offers a watered-down version of your favorite yet mildly toxic RTD. But IMO that’s not necessarily a bad thing because those RTD’s can get really gross really quickly. These are way easy to drink, but they taste like they should sober you up - not get you drunk. This doesn’t feel like the right way to consume alcohol in Dunedin in July; it’s not grungy enough, it’s not appropriate. When I drink these seltzers I feel like I’m cheating. It’s too pleasant. It’s something Bob Ross would drink. But if you’re looking for some happy accidents, this is a good way to go.

The best, most undeniable, thing about Pals is its branding. These babes just know graphic design! The name is cute, the logo cuter, and if this drink were a dog, it would definitely fit into my handbag. Sometimes, that’s all that matters. Much like boys with cute sweaters around campus, the fact that they contain very little substance isn’t enough to stop me. 

Tasting notes: Fancy salad. Pass the balsamic vinegar, would you dear? 

Froth Level: Tastes like it would make me horny. But I’d be way too full of carbonated whiskey and gin to do anything about it.

Pairs well with: Handbags and millennial pink.

Taste Rating: 10/10 if you like seltzers.

This article first appeared in Issue 14, 2020.
Posted 9:45pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Sinkpiss Plath.