Moaningful Confessions | Unfucking my Brain: One Month Without Porn

Moaningful Confessions | Unfucking my Brain: One Month Without Porn

Porn has undeniably screwed with my brain. There is no questioning that. It has changed how I think about and approach sex. It continues to burn holes through my dopamine receptors. It’s changed how I think about both women and men. I’m in my twenties, and looking at how I consume porn now makes me scared of how bored I’ll be of everything when I’m thirty.

I had always planned to cut out porn once I was in a relationship and had a sexual outlet, but it seems like waiting might be dangerous. I decided it was time to unfuck my brain. If those stickers around town and those dudes on reddit are right, every e-girl I beat my meat too was causing long term damage to my brain. 

It may seem ridiculous that it would be hard to masturbate without porn, but an overwhelming amount of men grew up watching this shit every single time we need a nut. I have no problem masturbating without porn if I’m already horny as hell, but to remove it completely is undeniably a challenge. I don’t like that it’s a challenge. It shouldn’t be a challenge. But my horny teenage self has wrecked my brain, so no more porn for me. Follow me on my journey, Critic.

Week One - Masturbation and Observation

It didn’t take long before I noticed how my body was reacting to the detox. On the first day I realised that without porn as an option I didn’t really feel like masturbating. On the second day I’d adjust the ol foreskin and then consider breaking the prohibition. One measly tiddy couldn’t hurt. I resisted.

On the third day I broke. My body was crying out for a quick lil cum, and so I obliged it. About one minute into choking my chicken I realised I was bored. Sure, it felt pretty okay on an objective level, hehe penis make the good feeling, but I wasn’t getting any sexual satisfaction out of it. I ended up spelunking into the wank bank and bringing dishonour upon my soul.

I didn’t see this as a step back. To quote the great Lil Wayne: “It's like when I cum, I come to my senses.” Post-nut clarity offered me a realisation; I have to fulfill my bodily needs. Testosterone research has shown that dudes are in peak performance if they nut once a week, and your body knows this too. My body had become used to going no more than two days without a squirt of the old love goop.

I could have gone the no-fap route, but during previous attempts I just found it made me feel irritable and had me acting like a bit of a cunt. Not to mention it’s mostly just pseudo science. If I was going to succeed in purging my brain I needed to micromanage my ejaculations. There had to be a sweet spot where I was horny enough to jack off without porn, but not so horny that I become a lustful lion tearing apart the fresh carcass of the sexual gratification wildebeest.

Near the end of the week I awoke from a dream where I was watching porn. It wasn’t even a sexy dream, I sadly never get those. This dream was just me watching porn on my phone. I started to wonder how addicted to internet coochie I had become.


This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2020.
Posted 9:32pm Thursday 2nd July 2020 by Critic.