Vape Review | Strawberry Kiwifruit Aotearoa E-Juice

Who needs Covid-19 when you can get self-induced Bronchitis from vaping too much over quarantine? If you’re gonna inject your lungs with some nicotine, it might as well taste nice. That’s why the Strawberry Kiwifruit Aotearoa E-Juice results in a pleasant vaping experience. You can’t taste the nicotine since it’s only 3%, so you don’t feel bad for hooning it at every hour of the day. Amazingly, you don’t get a sweet headrush. Instead you feel as if you’re drinking a smoothie on Sunday Brunch, which is probably a good thing. 

After peer-reviewing this flavour, the consensus was that it tasted like those bits of strawberry you get in yoghurts. Anonymous 2020 Critic Editor said “it slap”, which is the highest form of praise. Critic Illustrator Asia said that it “tastes better than a real strawberry”, whilst staff writer Naomii noted how it “tastes like how I wish strawberry lube would taste”. This then begs the question: can you use vape clouds as lube? Critic plans on doing an experiment on this next semester. My only complaint is that there is a distinct lack of Kiwifruit flavour. Instead, there is an artificial aftertaste that reminds me of trying to drink spirulina after a night on Cleanskin. 

It’s a good flavour if you want to vape on the piss but don’t actually smoke. It doesn’t feel like you are actively damaging your lungs, which adds to the charm. This flavour is a girl called Kayla who uses the word ‘vibes’ in every second sentence. It’s a VSCO filter for your lungs. It better than actually eating a fucking fruit. If only they could make a vape flavour with extra B6 vitamins and serotonin. 

Tasting Notes: Those Bluebird Real Fruit Bars you used to get in your lunch box

Makes You Feel: Those posi summer vibes before you get sunburnt at RnV 

Pairs Well WIth: A White Rhino and some bad choices 

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2020.
Posted 10:33pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Critic.