Horoscope | Issue 8

Horoscope | Issue 8


Jan 20 - Feb 18

This year is flying by and so are your opportunities to make long lasting friends that you don’t exploit. 

Your song to stream this week: Privilege - The Weeknd



Feb 19 - Mar 20

You get a glimpse of freedom and can’t wait to spread your fins and fly. Until the crushing weight of approaching exams makes you break out in a rash. 

Your song to stream this week: Higher - Rihanna



Mar 21 - Apr 19

Dunedin calls you to come home for a ten-person party and a bottle of Tequila. Now is your chance to get silly before you should probably study. 

Your song to stream this week: Give Me Everything - Pitbull


Apr 20 - May 20

Unipol is back open and you should be there. You’re pretty stubborn, but the 1.5 months worth of noodles you demolished is more stubborn. 

Your song to stream this week: Work It - Missy Elliot 



May 21 - Jun 20

Your dealer will ghost you, giving you the opportunity to focus on learning your whole course content in one week. Good luck. 

Your song to stream this week: Focus - Ariana Grande 



Jun 21 - Jul 22

Buy a fish from the pet shop, it’s the only thing that won’t disappoint you in this lifetime. It will also listen to you while you cry about that person who played too much. Mainly because it has no choice.
Your song to stream this week: Robbery - Juice WRLD



Jul 23 - Aug 22

Your flatmates won’t be on your case this week, so you’ll have a well deserved break from their nagging. You’ll also finally get the opportunity to host onits at yours for once. A shame only ten people can go. Just spend the night making TikToks.

Your song to stream this week: Laxed [Siren Beat] - Jawsh 685



Aug 23 - Sep 22 

You’ll contribute something to the world this week. Perhaps you’ll make a Bob Ross painting, or decide on a place to eat for once in your life. Either way, it will likely be lacklustre, but at least you got out of bed. 

Your song to stream this week: Nights - Frank Ocean



Sep 23 - Oct 22

Your unresolved anger surfaces this week and you might pop off for some reason. Take some deep breaths and lock yourself in your room. No one has time for it this week, not before exams. 

Your song to stream this week: Cool It Now - New Edition 



Oct 23 - Nov 21

Your flatmate will 100% wake you up again this week by blasting covers from the Mamma Mia soundtracks. Wake up by 8am if you don’t want this to happen.

Your song to stream this week: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! - ABBA



Nov 22 - Dec 21

You have had a good break but it’s time to pull yourself together and get into a proper routine. Maybe it's time to grow up, too, but that’s just a loose suggestion, you clown.

Your song to stream this week: Whip It - Nicki Minaj



Dec 22- Jan 19

You may get into a slump this week. You’ll probably be disappointed at the world or someone around you, typical Capricorn behaviour. Don’t worry, a friend will come by and cheer you up. Or you can be self-sufficient and watch Moana on repeat to inspire you. You got this, Capricorn.

Your song to stream this week: Are We Still Friends? - Tyler the Creator 

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2020.
Posted 7:03pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Critic.