Bone Apple Teeth | Tacos: for a Celebration

Bone Apple Teeth | Tacos: for a Celebration

Everyone loves tacos. There’s a reason that the humble dish appeases both the fiercest of enemies, the basic white girl and the hipster. Tacos are juicy, spicy, comforting and the meal I would reach for to celebrate the end of a devastatingly long lockdown. It’s the end of Autumn so, fair warning, avocados and tomatoes aren’t at their cheapest right now. But soon those beautiful fruits will leave us and our supermarket shelves, so best just to say fuck it and buy a $3 avocado. Time and money isn't real. I don’t know what day it is or when I last showered. All I know is that I crave crunchy, salty foods after so many of my parents’ bland curries and this, my darlings, will set your heart on fire. The recipe below is for beef tacos, but really you could put chicken, tofu or weed in and it doesn’t really matter. Only guac matters, in the end. 

Serves: 6 tacos 


6 tortillas, either hard or soft (go for the smaller ones, they’re much less likely to collapse, unlike our economy) 

1 avocado 

1/4 of a red onion 

1 tomato 

1/4 lettuce head 

500 grams of shit beef (NOT mince, I swear to god) 

Cupboard seasoning 



1. Always prepare fresh ingredients first, start by chopping up the lettuce into strips. If you have a sad-looking cucumber in your fridge, here’s your chance to get it involved. 

2. Guac time. Spoon out a whole avocado into a small bowl. Add diced red onion and tomato along with a generous handful of salt. Basically just mash it the fuck up boys. If you have lemon/lime or cilantro feel free to add some, but no pressure, you’re doing great. 

3. Salt the uncooked beef with a generous sprinkle, crank that black pepper in there, too. Cayenne pepper is good for a little rub down. You can’t go wrong with some garlic and chilli seasoning during these trying times. 

4. Drop the beef in hot oil, cook on one side for 5-7 minutes. You’ll know when to flip when it’s caramelised and releases from the pan easily. Cook the other side for 2-3 minutes. Put it on a chopping board and rest the meat for 5-10 minutes before you cut them into strips.

5. Heat up those tortillas. If you’ve opted for hard tortillas, chuck ‘em in the oven for 5 minutes, or chuck the soft ones in a pan for a quick dry fry. 

6. Get the store-bought salsa out of the fridge. Lol. 

7. Plate up time. Layer that lettuce, beef, guac and salsa all up in that taco’s business. Take a deep breath and devour. Everything’s going to be alright. 


This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2020.
Posted 4:04pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti.