2.73 Billion People Do Not Know About Recent University of Otago Study On Loch Ness Monster

2.73 Billion People Do Not Know About Recent University of Otago Study On Loch Ness Monster

Last week, University Comms man, Mark Hathaway, wrote a blogpost about his part in communicating a study by University of Otago Proffesor Neil Gemmell on the Loch Ness monster to 4.8 billion people, falling short by 2.73 billion of total world saturation,

Last week, University Comms man, Mark Hathaway, wrote a blogpost about his part in communicating a study by University of Otago Proffesor Neil Gemmell on the Loch Ness monster to 4.8 billion people, falling short by 2.73 billion of total world saturation, making the whole Loch Ness project a resounding failure.

“I apologise to everyone I let down with my actions,” said Mr Hathaway. “I have let Proffesor Gemmel down. I have let the Loch Ness Monster down. But most of all, I have let myself down.”

As of print Mr Hathaway has been tasked with personally informing every one of the 2.73 billion who missed out on Proffesor Gemmell’s research on the implications of the study. He was last spotted wandering in Outer Mongolia, wandering into the distance, tears of shame spattering the Gobi desert.

This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2019.
Posted 11:30pm Thursday 26th September 2019 by The Critical Tribune.