Innovative Marine Biology Major Installs Fish Nets in Leith River, Catches Rare Selection of Billy Mav Cans

Innovative Marine Biology Major Installs Fish Nets in Leith River, Catches Rare Selection of Billy Mav Cans

Finn Jameson has been looking for a way to make his name known in the competitive world of marine biology, and he might just have caught his big break.

Jameson’s thesis was about whether or not the sheer volume of breatha garbage in the Leith was forcing the marine life in the area to grow Huffer Jackets and baseball caps. What Jameson found instead was a huge variety of Billy Mav cans that show a myriad of methods used to consume the drink. 14% of the captured cans appear to have been shot gunned, while 31% seemed to have been drunk as normal, then crushed against the firm plate of a scarfie forehead. Jameson has since changed his thesis to see whether it is possible for a trout to shotgun a Mav.

This article first appeared in Issue 18, 2019.
Posted 8:20pm Sunday 4th August 2019 by The Critical Tribune.