UoO Moaningful Confessions | Pissed Off

UoO Moaningful Confessions | Pissed Off

The night started off like any other, pre drinking with the gals and as per usual we took things a little bit too far. We somehow made our way to town, and skipped the line and walked straight on into the bar. It was at this moment we locked eyes (first mistake). So, what started off with a girls flat trip to town quickly turned into me dogging the girls within 5 minutes. We snuck off without anyone noticing and made the journey back to my flat. Things started off well, a little drunken hook up, but unfortunately the alcohol had taken too much of a toll on old mates’ little mate. So, no juicy details there, you filthy bastards. We yarned for a while and not long after we both fell asleep.

A couple hours later I woke up to some rustling in my room – in my still drunken state I asked, “you all good?” which he replied yes and came back to bed. Things were all fine and dandy the next morning and he left without a hitch. This is when it starts to get a bit dirty, but the wrong kind of dirty. Later on, in the day I went to go put my washing on and stood in what seemed to be a little wet patch. With having a couple of drinks in my room last night, I thought nothing of it. However, when I picked up my hoody it was soaked – I gave it a quick sniff to see what kind of alcohol it was (to see which flattie to blame) – it was pee. Old mate had got up in the early hours to have a quick piss under my rug. After the initial shock, I decided to ask him whether he remembered doing it, to which he replied that he didn’t and how he was so sorry. He also said that embarrassingly this was not the first time he had done it. So, I guess I wish good luck to the next girl he goes home with, and maybe keep a bucket beside the bed just in case.

This article first appeared in Issue 11, 2019.
Posted 8:30pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by Critic.