The Week the ODT Learned an Important Lesson About the Effectiveness of Coitus Interruptus

Having barely got to grips with the internal combustion engine, perhaps it was a bit much to expect the ODT to seamlessly handle the transition into a more citrusy zeitgeist: 



Then again, I don’t read the ODT for their bleeding edge journalism. If I want journalism, I go to an actual newspaper. I read the ODT for their independent puns of the South, like this instant classic on the Toga Party: 



Or this. Only the ODT could solve climate change and make a poo joke in one foul swoop: 



There’s a dark cost to the ODT’s quippery, however. Punning in the basement from dawn till dusk, whipped bloody if they can’t take an entendre and double it – it doesn’t leave a lot of time for matters of the heart: 


Finally, I hope this doesn’t catch on when Halloween comes round:


This article first appeared in Issue 2, 2019.
Posted 9:27pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by R. RY, Bachelor of Arts.