Critic Booze Reviews : Rekorderlig Cider

Critic Booze Reviews : Rekorderlig Cider

Ah. Rekorderlig cider. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Thou art like a juicy medieval farm girl with overflowing cleavage and a father who is away at war. She may not have basic hygiene, but the sweat and sweet juices of the day’s labours have washed off on her. Each mouthful a tender gulp of life’s nectars. You will marry by spring. 

Strawberry and lime is a controversial flavour, much like anything New Age and attempting to be trendy. It seems almost too much to ask for a nice and normal flavour pairing, like apple and blackcurrant. Look, just drink the fucking strawberry and lime and be grateful that it doesn’t have kale or maple syrup or sweetcorn. Begone, hipsters. 

Rekorderlig doesn’t have a high alcohol percentage. I know, I know. If you want to get fucked up, this is not the cider for you. It’ll set you back around $6 for one bottle, for little more than a measly standard. However, if you want the slow caress of a fingernail down your thigh, tracing back and forwards, then… I suggest you get a sexual partner. It’s been 3 years, Joe. She left you, it’s okay. You need to get out there. Sorry, I know that was a misleading sentence. 

If you want to drink something that will take the edge off a Thursday afternoon, so you don’t think about your ex-girlfriend and the fact that she is almost definitely sleeping with that guy from her Instagram photos, then Rekorderlig is the one, baby. It cuts through the days where you just need a couple of standards to forget about the unbearable pain of existence. Life is long and hard. Cider is nice and tasty. Drink up, friend. 


Taste Rating: 7/10 

Froth Level: The first nude from a lover. 

Pairs well with: Toe sucking, flower crowns, hot chips from a pub. 

Tasting notes: A kombucha without the yeast infection.

This article first appeared in Issue 2, 2019.
Posted 8:02pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by Sinkpiss Plath.