How To Be A Less Shit Cook | Gnocchi

How To Be A Less Shit Cook | Gnocchi

Gnocchi has got to be just about the most filling thing on the face of the planet. No matter how much you think you’re gonna need, you’re going to be feeling like UBar on Wednesday before you get halfway through your plate. 

The thing about gnocchi is that you can pretty much substitute it for any pasta. Chuck it with tomato, or pesto, or a cheesy garlic & spinach type operation. Make the sauce exactly the way you normally would, then chuck these beautiful potato bites in to make yourself look like a fancy gourmet chef. 

You can buy gnocchi for like $5 at the supermarket, which is OK. But you can make a massive heap of it at home for practically no money; it’s a sick option when you’ve got a bag of potatoes sitting in the corner slowly growing roots.

  1. Get your biggest pot, a whole bunch of peeled potatoes and boil ‘em up. 
     
  2. Strain the potatoes, and then either run them under cold water or just leave them alone and go play Fifia until they’re cold enough for you to touch. Then put them in a massive bowl, and mash it up with some flour. You want it to be somewhere in the ballpark of 50/50 potato and flour by volume.
     
  3. Crack an egg into a cup and give it a quick beat with a fork, then dump it in the mixture and stir it all through. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty and really mash it all in together. You want to form a nice dough – add another egg or some water if it’s too dry, add some flour if it’s too wet. 
     
  4. Sprinkle some flour on the bench and knead your ball of dough. It doesn’t need much, just a minute or so will do the trick. 
     
  5. OK, now you get to bring out your Year 2 Play-Doh skills. Grab a chunk of the dough and roll it out into a big long snake about 2cm thick. Then chop it up into 3cm long bits. 
     
  6. OPTIONAL STEP: OK, you’ve put a bit of work in at this point. If you want to cut down on all that effort in the future, put a couple bags in the freezer. Spread them out on baking paper or a tray and put them in the freezer, then once they’re frozen, stick them in a resealable bag, that way they won’t all freeze into a big potato-y lump. 
     
  7. Cooking the gnocchi is easy. You just grab your pot and fill it with boiling water, add some salt, and throw a handful of them in. You know they’re done when they float to the top. Don’t overload the pot with gnocchi, it’s best just to do a handful at a time. 
     
  8. Add them to whatever pasta sauce or ingredients you’re going with, and bask in your flatmates’ compliments.

 

This article first appeared in Issue 15, 2018.
Posted 5:26pm Thursday 12th July 2018 by The Scarfie Chef.