The Post-Fact World | Issue 06

Fiction is stranger than fact

Anteaters don’t actually eat ants, they just give them a little ride on their tongue

It’s illegal to eat party mix if you’re not having a party

One square of toilet paper is exactly enough paper for a dolphin to choke to death on

Wombs are reverse tombs

The Dunedin Sound is actually just someone screaming into the void

Ed Sheeran is a scam that the DCC is running to empower people with red hair and/or bad tattoos

It’s impossible to count to zero

America is further away than Milton, and that’s a long way away

Even when you’re outside people still don’t like you using your outside voice

I don’t know if Jeff Bezos is a goodie or a baddie

Faded af is faded af backwards and forwards and sideways and upside down and inside out

Cats do not actually prefer Chef; chefs prefer cats. Meow.

The names of the toes are, in order, the Big Toe, Jeff, Christie, Ingrid, the Little Toe.

The phrase “Towing the line” comes from the 12th century practise of harbouring ships by towing their lines.

“Hold the line” was first coined by Toto in their 1978 release “Hold the Line”

The only difference between a ship anchor and a news anchor is the brand of hair product

The Mask was actually Jim Carrey’s real face. His normal face is a mask. 

This article first appeared in Issue 6, 2018.
Posted 9:54pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Critic.