Ok, so you want to spice up your sex life a bit. You’re bored, it’s not exciting anymore, you want the sense of danger. Whether it’s at the back of the movie theatre or at the beach, everyone seems to have a story about it. This is all well and good, but bear in mind that a) public nudity and obscenity are crimes, and b) no one needs or wants to hear/see that (well, with exceptions).
Instead of going at it in a movie theatre, maybe you could try a toilet. It’s not the most glamorous of places, but it’s relatively private and (hopefully) has a locked door. It’s not the most sanitary either, so try to keep delicate bits away from any surfaces that look a bit grimy. There are bathrooms that aren’t in scummy clubs … If the walls of the disabled toilets in the Link could talk. (Yes, I know I’m a bad person and I’m going to hell. Sorry, Mum.)
You could also try in a car at night on a deserted road. If you’re all romantic and shit, you could even get out and put a blanket down. Watch the stars. You could have a movie moment if you fog up the windows of the back seat and make a handprint. This does lose its appeal when you realise there are now dried stains all over the back seat of your mum’s car and she’s had enough teenage sons to not believe your story that it’s toothpaste. (I was put on the spot. I have little experience trying to come up with plausible cover stories for odd cum patches. Don’t judge me.)
Small, enclosed, private-ish places are your best bet for fulfilling your low-key voyeuristic fantasies in a relatively safe way. Be warned though, the police officer will still look at you with judgement and disappointment if you get caught. I accept zero responsibility for the shame.
But try not to do it in a public space during the day, or in a movie theatre. We get it, most of us love sex, we know your body likes his/her/their body, but, for the love of God, we do not need to see it.