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Top 5 Strangest Sexual Fetishes

Some people enjoy watching people sleep. Others enjoy much more refined things, such as having small Asian females yelling profanities at their genitals in an oriental dialect (you know who you are!). But some of these fetishes take “whatever floats your boat” to a creepy new level.
 
5. Feeders: Not just your average chubby chaser, this is probably the most extreme form of a fat fetish. As the name implies, these people get off over making people (usually women) as fat as they can. The fatter the better, as this fetish is mostly about control and dependence. Some of them end up so massive that they can’t fit through doors, so about the size of Michael Laws’ ego.
 
4. Erotic asphyxiation: This is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. At first I thought this might be jerking off until you black out, but there are a few more complexities to it. It’s commonly done by a dominatrix thought a variety of disturbing methods. I’d be afraid to even remotely try this out in case the dominatrix gets me all locked up and tells me that the safe word is “Eyjafjallajökull.”
 
3. Formicophilia: Having bugs crawling all over my junk is about as sexually appealing as having Helen Clark strip tease out of a giant cake while singing ‘Happy Birthday Mr. President’. But some people love those creepy crawlies. It’s much more common in developing countries, probably because they live in shacks surrounded with bugs and it’s common to have an outdoor bathroom. I’m sure telling anyone that you’re into this is an excellent way to stop almost anyone’s sexual advances. Besides Bill Clinton of course.
 
2. Robot fetishism: Ever got a bit of a hard-on over R2D2’s beeping? Ever masturbated furiously over Optimus Prime’s guns? Chances are you may be experiencing a fetish towards robots. Either that, or you’re a creep. Maybe even both. Apparently, it’s actually not that simple. It’s more to do with people acting like robots and getting dressed up as robots. Many of these people refer to themselves as ‘Technosexuals’, which really says a lot about them. I mean, imagine having a bit of slap and tickle with someone, only to find them saying “hold that thought – I need to go and get my Robocop costume...”
 
1. Burusera: This is the Japanese term for a fetish for panties, predominantly those of schoolgirls. It’s so common that there are shops that sell used schoolgirls’ panties and until recently, there were even vending machines that sold them. Law changes meant that only 18+ school leavers could sell their used panties. Now, some of you might think this is completely gross. I see it as a possible business venture. Think about it: you have extremely low start-up costs. Just get some panties and a few plastic bags. Then just grab a four-day-old fish and rub it all over the panties! Dear Diary: JACKPOT!
Posted 1:30am Monday 26th July 2010 by Richard Cheese.