ODT Watch | Issue 08

ODT Watch | Issue 08

The royal daily times

The ODT is your one stop shop for news of the royal visit! All the drooling and irrational obsession you could possibly hope for over the duration of their stay is to be found in the ODT’s special “royal tour” feature! Funny how so far none of the articles have mentioned how the visit is projected to cost New Zealand taxpayers $1.2 million but, hey, what Kate looks like every second of the day is so much more interesting!

A bit of condescending dribble to start the feature off! Featuring gems like: “Was there a dressing room on that plane? A hair salon? ‘Coz, girl, you looked good when you got off that aircraft ...” and “We were pleased you didn’t look too skinny ...”

And here’s Prince William being schooled in the art of “dropping it like it’s hot.”

Even the royals aren’t safe from the ODT’s puns. This article cracks a good ’un about the high-profile play date with Prince George.

Laughs all round when Prime Minister John Key tells Prince William about his big ... plans for the royal visit.

In other news, I think we’ve found a candidate for New Zealand’s worst criminal! A 26-year-old man has been convicted after displaying threatening behaviour towards an old girlfriend, including “intentionally damaging her rhododendron plant.” He then escalated things by posting a status about killing said ex-girlfriend on his Facebook profile. Ravaging bushes and revealing his murderous plot on Facebook ... ahh, there’s nothing funnier than a dumb criminal!
This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2014.
Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Kristen Stewart and Allison Hess.