Columns

Top 5 Most Annoying Types of People on Facebook


The weirdest part is that most of these people aren’t your ‘friends’, they’re just people you added out of obligation. Now you have to deal with their annoying habits.
 
5. The Group Joiner: I hate it when you jump on Facebook to see what the gossip is, only to find those two or three people, who join every goddamn group imaginable, busy doing what they do best. Seriously, no one gives a shit about those random groups that start with the overused phrase ‘that awkward feeling you get when...’, which was funny maybe the first time. Well, I’ve got a hilarious group for you to join. It’s called ‘that awkward feeling you get when you read this column and realise I’m talking about YOU!’
 
4. The ‘Liker’: Everyone has at least one of these people as a ‘friend’. They will ‘like’ the fuck out of everything. What makes it worse is that they usually are similar to the ‘group joiner’ and since Facebook changed ‘becoming a fan of’ something to ‘liking’ it, now they can ‘like’ every single activity you and your friends do and ‘like’ every other fucking thing when there’s nothing going on. Like like like like!!! Fuck off you buttnugget!!!
 
3. The ‘Frequent Status Updater’: “Hey guys, I thought I’d just tell you something you didn’t need nor want to know” pretty much sums up the mentality of someone who updates their status six times a day. I think I speak for the vast majority of us when I say I don’t give a shit about what you’ve had for breakfast (unless it was something weird), or how boring your class was. Sometimes you should just keep things to yourself – i.e. I don’t care if you took a crap that looks a bit like a porcupine. Keep status updates for something semi-interesting.
 
2. The ‘Comment Commander’: Here’s a case in point. Go to the Critic Facebook page and have a look at the comments under everything. It’s so great to see the perks of free speech ... useless and annoying opinions galore.
 
1. The Application Asshole: To the people who invite everyone to Farmville and every other shitty application. Fuck you, you little knobfairies. If you’re going to do that shit, don’t tell anyone. Don’t you think you’re a bit old to be playing those sorts of things anyway?