Swillable | Issue 5

Swillable | Issue 5


Taste: 9/10
Percentage: 6.4%(domestic), 5% (export)
Price: 45 baht (approx. NZ$1.90)
Standards per vessel: 3.1 in big bottles (Yai Chang)

A strong yet tasty pale lager that has only been in production since 1995 yet has since gone on to gain 60% of the local beer market in Thailand. Chang currently sponsors the Everton football team. A notable Carlsberg influence is present in the flavour after a merger in 2006.

Due to the strength of the beer and size of the bottles this shit seriously sneaks up on you. Four beers down and you’re already more than 12 SoGos deep. The Chang is not to be taken lightly.

Chang was almost instantly discovered by our group of scarfie students soon after disembarking our plane in Chiang Mai. Someone did the math and realised how fucked up we could get for our usual NZ$12-a-night piss money. I almost came when I discovered it tasted like the urine of a god.

We were stunned to discover that these giant green frosty gems could be found and purchased without ID at every 7/11, restaurant, bar, backpackers or dude on the side of the road with a chilly bin. I thought I was going to awaken any moment to a harsh and disappointing reality. I didn’t. We were like paedophiles in a playground.

Soon the group had separated all over town and a rowdy night ensued. After a session of morning banter we established that some had purchased brass knuckles, a pair had gone 3 rounds in a Muay Thai ring (blood noses and black eyes to show for it), one lad had purchased gerbils and given them all to local children and one limp-dicked amateur had been too wasted to get it up for his “happy ending” massage.

Chang had become one of my all time favorites.

Your boy,
Pilbo Swaggins
This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2012.
Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Pilbo Swaggins.