Last week, I committed to using a flip phone for 7 days.
I will start with the cons. Firstly, I hadn’t realised how much I was relying on social media for a sense of connectivity, or parasocialisation. I found myself wondering when the days had gotten so long, and so lonely. Secondly, there is no storage on my phone. I could only download two songs, which were ‘Let The Light In’ and ‘Paris, Texas’ by Lana Del Rey. Thirdly, the lack of Google Maps, the BNZ app and Uber was really felt. Reception would also sometimes randomly drop out, which sucked. As such, I ended up bringing my iPhone with me whenever I left the house, basically for safety reasons.
However, the pros outweighed any cons. When I was lonely, I opened the built-in FM radio and listened to Radio One on 91FM. Hearing people talk, just about anything, helped me feel connected. Texting became super intentional, as whenever a new text came through, it didn’t come through as a thread, but rather as an individual item in an inbox. Due to the lack of storage, I had to delete my entire inbox often without saving any numbers.
When Monday rolled around and Critic hit the stands, things became even more fun. Heaps of you texted me! Here are some of my faves (unedited):
- For the girls who only got involved into FIFA from the Bellingham x Haaland ship. Was it intentional that your vaping illustration looks like the ship on gay steroids? The girlies await your answer eagerly [I talked to Eddie, the illustrator who did the article, who confirmed that it was intentional]
- WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You’ll be paid when we get back. Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before.
- 44-33-999!! 44-666-9-7777 88-44-33 7-44-666-66-33 4-666-44-66-4?? 666-55 4-66 555-666-555. :d
- Do you exercise with your flip phone? If you do… I guess you could call it cellular respiration (hahaha)
- Dear mysterious critic flip phone. It is I. Mysterious non-critic smart phone. I wish to simply ask how you are. Are you doing ok? Is your pillow cold? Do you feel fulfilled? What are physical buttons like? Anyways. Mysterious non-critic smart phone out.
- And who am I? That’s a secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
- The world we grew up in no longer exists, and as our old world dies, and the new one struggles to be born: now is a time of monsters.
- Big fan of the flipphone revolution Ive been using this Nokia 2660 since september 2024 and Its so freeing - so long as you know your way around town youll be fine
- Hello Hanna Varrs, esteemed editor of The Critic. Your flip phone is nice. Thanks for all. Much compliments to the magazinebook
Thanks for texting, and I think I’ll stick with the flip phone for a while longer. Sent from my flip phone.
