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Critic sets up two lucky students on a blind date.

Michelle
 
So prior to meeting my date at Toast, I had a cheeky double gin to boost my smalltalk potential. I ignored my flatmates’ advice to “get fuckin’ maggot” because I didn’t want to bring my friends Skaney Janey and Mary the Slut.
 
My first impression was that he wasn’t really my type, but he was very friendly and talkative so I hoped that we could have some good yarns and a bit of booze on the Critic bar tab. However, to my horror I knew instantly we were incompatible when he told me he doesn’t like Monkey Bar!! It was never going to work. He was NOT worth shaving my legs for (irrelevant, really, since I wore tights anyway and those babies were not coming off). He was also NOT worth missing Grey’s for (thank God for TVNZ On Demand.) A Monkey Bar fan is my type of man.
 
He also told me he only drinks once a month…kinda like a period, I suppose. This was obviously his time of the month because we downed a Long Island Iced Tea, Mojito and a Shaker (all delicious.) The bartender was the fucking man. My flatmates came along and thoroughly approved of his vodka-cranberry-making skills (secret ingredient: passion fruit syrup), as well as the physical appearance of my date (cute + friendly-looking). Then again, their usual hunting ground is The Break.
 
My date seemed to have an aversion to the usual questions – e.g. where are you from? What’s your fave movie? – and chose to instead ask me somewhat obscure questions like, “What’s your favourite memory on top of a mountain?” To break the awkward silence I ended up reluctantly answering this question with a “oh I had a good shag up there once”.
 
Generally, he was a really nice guy. Yup, he was a really nice chatty guy. Unfortunately, a 70-30 conversation ratio is like having a debate with Hone Harawira about Maori rights.
 
The night came to an early close and I bounded back to the burrow and spent an hour in my lair with the Eclipse 7 Rabbitronic.
 
Barak
 
I guess it began on Sunday; new shirt, new shoes and a chance to prove decent guys exist. The day of the date, however, was a rush. From work to a terms test, I left both early to arrive on time. I was early, though some might say she was just fashionably late, so I started things off with a Long Island Iced Tea. The barman, who I learnt was actually one of award-winning skill, had no trouble giving the ingredients of any cocktail I could think of.
 
When she arrived, she ordered a Mojito (despite not actually being Cuban) and a Berry Shaker. I promised to avoid boring questions (though later a friend pointed out that by asking only unpredictable questions, I had actually become predictable). Two hours passed by, with little awkwardness, though also with little in common. I started to suspect that this was actually why people generally choose to avoid blind dates, not because they end up with fundamentally bad people, but because they end up with people who they have little or no chemistry with.
 
An 8am lecture called the Med student away earlier than I would have hoped, leaving me with $20 left on the bartab and no other plans for the evening. Bored and discontent I texted a friend (and/or nemesis) requesting his immediate presence (which wasn’t hard to attain, considering I was offering free drinks), and managed to strike up conversation with two charming girls in an adjacent booth. My friend arrived, having been called out earlier than expected (as he had plans for pool later that evening). I introduced him to my new acquaintances, we had some drinks and we decided to all go to Rock ‘n’ Pool for a more drinks and game or two.
 
In contrast with how the evening had started, conversation flowed and felt natural. After each imbibing a glass of beer (alcohol being an effective social lubricant), playing pool and getting more acquainted with the people I had found myself with (three of whom I had only just met) we left, initially heading towards Willowbank for food, though ultimately each going our own ways, satisfied with how our evenings had gone. All in all, it was a fun evening, though little of that had to do with the blind date. Cheers Critic.