Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

NO, don’t order that UberEats! Get the fuck up and do your grocery shopping. And buy some kiwifruit while you’re there. When was the last time you took a shit that wasn’t pebbles?

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Make the flat a Sunday roast.

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

You’re initiating the tough conversations, and it’s going to work out in your favour. Keep speaking your truth, and fuck how they feel. 

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Go out on a friendship date with someone who makes you feel empowered.

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

If serial monogamy was a competition, you’d be the winner. You can’t detach while they’re in your bed, babes. Learn how to be alone, but not lonely.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Get in your favourite set of pyjamas, light your candles and park up with a good book.

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

Drive yourself out to the beach and spend some time with yourself. Watch the waves and listen to sad music while you ponder your measly existence. I’m not sure if it’ll help, but it’s better than wasting away in your freezing cold bedroom.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Turn on all the heaters in your bedroom and pretend you’re on vacation.

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

If they’re jealous, it’s because they’re projecting. Don’t take it personally, and don’t waste your energy fighting back. They’ll never be you, babes.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Affirmations in the mirror.

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Stop talking to your ex. That shit’s weird. Isn’t it time to move on?

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Meditate.

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

What’s with the confrontation recently? It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. 

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Call your parents.

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Respect changing relationships. Adult friendships are hard, and sometimes it’s just not worth clinging on. You’re not the bad guy for having boundaries.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Go to the ice hockey with your flatmates.

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

You know what, Libra? You SHOULD post that thirst trap. You SHOULD overshare online. You SHOULD organise that coffee date. Who cares! Your self-awareness will be your downfall if you let it.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Focus on your hobbies. 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Weird dreams recently? That’s cool. But stop messaging your friends about them in the morning. I promise, they don’t care. 

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Buy some magnesium and take it before bed.

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

You’re hiding yourself away, Sag. The only way to alleviate that social anxiety is to face it head-on. Allow yourself to experience something new.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Make mulled wine.

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

You’re a light in everyone’s life, but don’t burn yourself out! We need you on top of your game, you little life of the party, you.

Tip to cure your seasonal depression: Take a mental health day or two.