Archive

Scarfies Give Street a Hyding

Posted 7:07pm Sunday 1st April 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Everyone’s favourite keg party took place Saturday March 24. Critic, along with 6,000 other partygoers, was there covering the drunkenness and debauchery. The goodProving to John Key that students do occasionally get out of bed before 7.30 at night, a raucous though mostly friendly crew of Read more...

Critic runs Jimmy Cowan Out of Town

Posted 5:00pm Monday 26th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

In breaking code news an un-named source has whispered in Critic Sports reporter Gus Gawn’s ear that Jimmy Cowan’s days as a Highlander are numbered. Our source has stated that Cowan will quit New Zealand at the end of the 2012 season to take up a contract with English club Gloucester. Read more...

New Zealand First

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Callum Fredric

The New Zealand First Party is the Salmond College of political parties – far enough away from the mainstream to be forgotten by most, but not quite far out enough to gain notoriety like the Mana Party (Aquinas). For the average Kiwi, only one thing springs to mind when they think of NZ First ... Read more...

Warriors at Forsyth Barr, Yes Please.

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

How many of you want to see the Vodafone Warriors play an NRL game at Forsyth Barr Stadium? I know I do, and I bet you do too. Though Rugby League is the poorer cousin to Rugby Union in Dunedin, there is a dormant support base. How many of you regularly settle down to watch the Warriors on a Read more...

Highlanders Unbeaten

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

In unbelievable code update news, THE HIGHLANDERS ARE UNDEFEATED (or they were when we went to print on Thursday). That’s right folks – two home games, two away, four wins, 16 points, top of the table, top of the conference, top of the world. It’s not as if they’ve had an easy draw either. Read more...

Rower rows toward rowing victory (in a rowboat)

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

Earlier this month 38 rowers were named to represent New Zealand at the London Olympics in July this year. It is the largest rowing squad that New Zealand has ever mustered for an Olympic games. Beyond shot-putter Valerie Adams, most of New Zealand’s medals will probably come from these 38 rowers. Read more...

Castaway’s ‘Wilson’ makes tragic real life appearance in Southland

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

Invercargill locals are in shock over what has been described as New Zealand’s worst maritime disaster since the Wahine in 1968. An 11-metre fishing boat, the Easy Rider, capsized in Foveaux Strait on Wednesday March 14 with nine people on board. Only one person is thought to have survived, with Read more...

Marmite stocks depleted

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Marmite has disappeared off shelves all around New Zealand, four months after Sanitarium’s Christchurch factory was closed following an engineers’ report showing the building was unsafe. “Marmageddon” has ensued, resulting in rationing, mass riots and the breakdown of New Zealand society. The Read more...

Sex, blackmail and head injuries

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Callum Fredric

National MP Nick Smith has resigned from his ministerial roles after the first major Parliamentary scandal of the year. On July 7 last year, Dr. Smith wrote a letter to ACC in support of his “friend” Bronwyn Pullar, who was fighting a long-running battle with ACC after suffering a head injury in a Read more...

Air NZ’s Cockpit Cock-Up

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Air New Zealand has discovered cracks near its planes’ cockpit windows, grounding 11 aircrafts and causing delays to flights in and out of Dunedin. After hairline cracks were found in one aircraft during a routine inspection, all 11 planes in the 11-year-old ATR fleet were grounded until Read more...

Edgar shits on rights abuse claims

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

OUSA President Logan Edgar appeared in two hard-hitting interviews last week. The first took place on Breakfast on Tuesday March 20. Veteran journalist Corin Dann challenged Edgar on OUSA’s current student enrolment procedures, which allow the student association to skim cheekily above legal Read more...

Victoria IS the bomb

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

Victoria University in Wellington plunged into chaos on Monday morning when an anonymous email sent to the University outlined a bomb threat against the Easterfield building at the Uni’s Kelburn campus. The building was evacuated and cordoned off for several hours while police used a bomb dog to Read more...

Tame Iti Hangs Jury

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 25th March 2012 by Claudia Herron

Questions have arisen over the fate of the “Urewera Four” after a jury was unable to reach a verdict on the most serious charge against them. On March 20 Tame Iti, Te Rangikaiwhiria Kemara, Emily Bailey and Urs Signer were found guilty by a jury on a number of firearms charges. The offences Read more...

The Six Breeds of Anti Alcohol Activist

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Callum Fredric

01 | Health NazisYeah that’s right, Critic breached Godwin’s law. Deal with it. The health nazis want to ban alcohol (and the KFC Double Down) to protect you from yourself. According to these finger-wagging wowsers, if a guy drinks six standards, he’s officially binge-drinking. That would explain Read more...

Rigger vents spleen all over Critic reporter

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Gus Gawn

Mark Richardson is an ex-Black Cap, Sky Sports Commentator and host of TV shows The Crowd Goes Wild (CGW), and The Cricket Show. He lived in Dunedin for 10 years, playing cricket for Otago and studying towards a BCom (which he has never used). He makes his money nowadays as an inflammatory TV Read more...

Lamington Attacks Spark Dangerous New Trend

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Auckland Mayor Len Brown was attacked on March 9 by a sponge-smearing protester after a session with Auckland University students. Mr. Brown was on campus discussing the dispute between Maritime New Zealand and the Ports of Auckland Union. At the conclusion of his speech, a protester Read more...

Big queer boots to fill

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Josie Adams

With long-time coordinator Jamie Burford finishing his stint at Queer Support last week, Neill Ballantyne has been appointed to take over the role. Neill has been involved in Queer Support for two years, starting out as a peer supporter. While the eventual plan might be to revolutionise Read more...

Skegg takes his place in the world

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Margot Taylor

Sir David Skegg, former University of Otago Vice-Chancellor, was named this week as the next President of the Royal Society of New Zealand. Professor Skegg will begin his position at the Royal Society, an education and research charity for the advancement and promotion of science, Read more...

Otago Police Watch Titanic and Panic

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Bella Macdonald

With a growing number of cruise ships entering the Otago Harbour this year, an emergency plan is being put in place to manage any potential disaster. The number of cruise ships visiting Otago has soared over the past decade from 25 in 2003 to 80 this year, prompting the emergency plan. It Read more...

Government serves up waffle with condescension sauce

Posted 4:27pm Sunday 18th March 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Prime Minister John Key has hinted at further overhaul to the student loan system, but is unlikely to reinstate interest for fear of reprisal by students “getting out of bed before 7 o’clock at night.” Critic polled students on the various insurrectionary activities they could pursue by Read more...