Archive

Moaningful Confessions: Ex-Best Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend Fucker

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Thank god this happened back in my home country, I would be shanked if this got back to them. At my school in year 12, my friend (let’s call her Amelia) got a boyfriend (let’s call him Jed) who had a completely identical (slightly fitter) twin brother. I, being perpetually single Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You’re at a crossroads this week. Either accept that you have tummy issues and swap to oat milk or shit yourself in the most embarrassing place possible: three metres away from the bouncer outside U-Bar.  Strain of weed to try: Sour Diesel Pisces You take a creative Read more...

Editorial: Stay Safe, Kids

Posted 1:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown

Welcome to the Drugs Issue. You may have picked that up already based on the bong-heavy design of both the cover and centrefold. We timed it to come out the week of Hyde Street Party and 4/20 – which conveniently happens to be the same day this year. I see you, OUSA. “Drugs” is Read more...

Local Produce: Purple Dog

Posted 10:09pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Starting off the year with a slew of Pint Night performances at U-Bar, Purple Dog have now established themselves as a prominent Ōtepoti band. As they gear up to release a second single, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to ask about their origin story, new music, and upcoming Read more...

Debatable: Should Hyde residents have to pay for tickets to the Hyde Street Party?

Posted 10:07pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Liam Gould

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For: Liam Gould  Okay, so it might be a bit stink that on top of overpaying for what is likely a cold and damp flat on Read more...

Booze Review: Mulled Wine

Posted 9:57pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Daylight savings is creeping forward, bringing with it shit weather and a splash of seasonal depression. In this autumnal slump, we want a drink that reminds us of simpler times, like Christmas – not New Zealand Christmas, but the one you see in low-budget rom-coms. I want to get fucked up Read more...

ChatGOTH: Heracles

Posted 9:50pm Friday 5th April 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hi ChatGOTH, I need help slaying the Hydra. My ex will not stop trying to talk to me. As per usual post-break up courtesy, I asked for space but little did I know how challenging this labour would be. Long story short, it got to the point where I had to block her (so my phone would stop Read more...

Takeaways: Week 6

Posted 9:49pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘Almost Pumping’ short film If you haven’t watched it yet, you’re missing out. Isaac Chadwick’s short film ‘Almost Pumping’ is a 16-minute fever dream of surf, as Chaddy and his mates tackle the waves of Indonesia, describing Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Catman

Posted 8:53pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

We’re coming up on the anniversary of this story so I feel as though I have enough closure to share it. This was my first attempt at a Tinder hook up after a breakup, and I knew the guy from home so I thought it would be chill. No surprises, I was wrong.  Everything is set up, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 8:28pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius When life gives you lemons, make a vodka LLB (lemon, lime and bitters), sit back and watch the world burn. There is nothing you can do to save those plebs. Your morning mantra: I am healthy, I am wealthy Pisces You are very aware of your surroundings this week. While your intuition is Read more...

Editorial: Turn On Your Heat Pump

Posted 8:25pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nina Brown

It’s time we all grew up and turned our heat pumps on. I will die on this hill. To all the power Scrooges out there, I get it. The early stages of flatting are a hard fiscal slap in the face. You hear the phrase “cozzie livs” (boomer translation: “cost of living”) Read more...

Booze Review: Sour Apple Cruisers

Posted 4:35pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Critic was a bit late this St Patty’s to jump on the bandwagon and acquire the breatha’s Irish drink of choice: Lime Cruisers. We even mished to the unfamiliar territory of South Dunedin, but to no avail. We were left with the consolation prize, the ugly step-sister of this green and Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Chocolate Mousse

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Ruby Hudson

Serves: 6 Time: 20 mins + 2 hrs cooling Bring on those sexual desires and impress that special someone with this smooth and luxurious choccy mousse. Since dark chocolate is packed full of aphrodisiac, this recipe is sure to get you in the mood. While I admit the whole aphrodisiac thing could be Read more...

Local Produce: Give Up

Posted 4:06pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Give Up is the newest Ōtepoti shit-head post-punk band. They came to prominence last year after making the Bring the Noise finals, which was only their second gig. Now, after opening for Beet-wix and snagging a pint night slot, they’re rolling with the motion of the ocean and are keen to Read more...

Debatable: Should you watch porn?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Abby Bowmar

TW: SA, mentions of abuse For You have an internet connection, an incognito tab, and 10 minutes (8? 5? 2?) on your hands. Put aside the guilt your Catholic primary school instilled in you, and remember to disconnect from your flat’s Bluetooth speaker.  Modern society Read more...

Do it Your Fucking Self: How to Breatha-fy Your Room

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

As a former “dumb fresher fuck”, you’ve just moved into the big wide world. By that, we mean out of a hall, into a beat-as-fuck six-bedroom flat somewhere on Leith, Castle, Dundas or one of the other streets that almost guarantees you are never seeing your bond again. Your room Read more...

Takeaways: Week 5

Posted 3:41pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Something to watch 5 Broken Cameras  5 Broken Cameras is a documentary film from the perspective of Emad, a Palestinian man who captured first-hand the protests in Bil’in – a West Bank village that struggled against Israeli settlements encroaching on their land from 2005. The Read more...

Editorial: Hook-Up Culture is the New Cool Girl

Posted 3:38pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown

Dunedin hook-up culture has gaslighted us all into prioritising male pleasure over female pleasure, and just accepting this as the norm. Women’s sexual enjoyment is swept aside, and being okay with this is added to the criteria of Cool Girl. You’re a Cool Girl if you have mediocre one Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 3:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Your rizz is at an all-time high. Now’s the time to start talking to your lecturers and tutors nicely. Build that relationship so that when you inevitably forget to hand in assignments, there isn't too much blowback. Sexy-time song: ‘Close’ by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Read more...

ChatGOTH: Fast and Curious

Posted 2:50pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH, There’s an epidemic of straight people walking slow. As a goth, how do you deal with that?  Sincerely, Fast and Curious.  Hi Fast and Curious,  Confession: I’m a queer slow walker. Yes, we exist. It depends on the breed of goth, but most are Read more...