Archive

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

The column was due last night, and no one was particularly motivated to write anything. Only four weeks into the ordeal it seemed we had already run out of zucchini, masturbation stories, and blatant VICE rip-offs. Surprisingly, however, this led to us writing said column the way we first imagined Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

Now this is the story all about how My gay marriage views got flipped, turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I came to advocate a position that’s fair. In rural Philippines I was born and raised, Observing Catholicism was how I Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

30 May 1832. Paris at dawn. Two men stand back-to-back, loaded pistols at their sides. With the nervous precision found only in those facing their own mortality, they begin to walk apart. One of the men is unknown to history, and the reasons for the duel are also lost. What we know is that this man Read more...

For The Record | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

“When people ask if firearms are too accessible in America, they might as well ask if religion and speech are too free.” – Senator Larry Craig The nightmarish massacre in Colorado has spurred media pundits across the world to question the future of the cinema. Opinions vary, but a number of Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by La Dida

In this column I thought I’d give myself some space to reply to words people have called me, and I suspect many other queer/trans folks too. These are words some of us internalise and begin to use to describe ourselves. I am writing this column because often I haven’t been able to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

I have a friend who has done some work for the UN. Despite never having been employed by anyone even remotely worthy of mention, I nevertheless like to pipe up when she mentions it, usually in the form of a snobby comment along the lines of: “But how can you sleep at night knowing you’ve sold your Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Glenn Beck drove sadly home, a great weight on his chest. This weight was a symptom not of Beck’s high cholesterol, but of the President’s refusal to appear on Beck’s radio show. No matter – by morning the weight would be gone, swallowed into his torso by the raging beast of righteousness that Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If Read more...

Editorial | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Joe Stockman

Hey first years, how you doing? I hope you’re really enjoying your hall of residence. And geez, I bet you are really really excited about going flatting next year. I fondly remember my first flatting experience: the politics of trying to get a group of friends together to head out flat hunting, and Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 18

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Dan Luoni

As a stereotypical arts student, I’ve been feeling besieged lately. The government is talking of tying education funding to job opportunities, smoking is being made financially crippling, and now they’re onto booze. Art, durries, booze: all of the vices that make life worth living are being Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 18

Posted 2:41pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Toby Newberry

So today I’ll be trying to remedy the anticipated Euro-centric subject bias mentioned in my first column (cos everyone remembers what I wrote three weeks ago). Basically, this means the subject is Eastern: Japanese, to be precise. Tomoe Gozen lived in the late 1100s, when Japan was rife with Read more...

Ramadan | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Mostafa Amer

Muslim adults around the world except the sick, infirm and those travelling are currently fasting every day, from dawn till sunset, during this blessed month of Ramadan. Ramadan is about meeting the challenge of not only curbing our appetite from the basic needs of food, water, and worldly Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by

Dave Cannan’s “The Wash” documents the daily non-events of Dunedin’s mediocre affairs, or “phenomena” as Cannan would say. This week, a thrilling mystery: A member of the public spotted a picture saying “Joe loves Jill”: I think they’re lesbians, Dave. Dave also had some Read more...

Poetry | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

Friday nights are always the same An anxiety ruminating through The shapes your lips make Desparate, decadent pleas For the public validation You crave enough to Vacuum every day, Buy organic low fat milk, Read about socialism And pretend that I’m A respectable Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Holly Walker

Last Monday was the first day back after a two-week Parliamentary recess. As Critic readers will know, I spent the recess watching the same movie over and over again in different parts of the country. I can’t complain, however, because this was entirely self-inflicted, and very much for a good cause Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

It’s never fun being walked in on. Be it your parent, ex lover, or flatmate, nothing is less enjoyable someone wandering in mid-thrust. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened last week when Louise decided to walk in just as I began squirting some special white chocolate all over Nina, my Read more...

For The Record | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

I don’t like decade-themed parties. I’ve never understood the novelty of playing historical dress-up. But more than that, these “retro” parties beg the question: how will we be remembered? From the 1950s up to the new millennium, each decade brought with it a new and unique cultural Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by La Dida

This week I’d planned out my column days in advance. I’d written it quickly – the time I had was squashed beneath piles of other things. When I returned to it today, I noticed something. My words were flat. The piece was stodgy, and I just wasn’t into it. I’d tried to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Brittany Mann

As a peace student this is mortifying to admit, but there have been times when I have considered joining the army. These phases consisted primarily of daydreams in which I was toned, tanned, fit and ready, covered in mud and sweat, and doing innumerable press-ups in a too-tight singlet and camo Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

If this keeps up 2012 could be remembered as the year of the “Batman election”. Instead of simply going to the cinema to watch a maladjusted billionaire get beaten to a pulp by a fruitily gurgling beefcake and leaving seven hours later pining for plot structure and Michelle Pfeiffer, we have to Read more...