Infant Reincarnated From Dead Breatha, Charged for His Student Loan

Posted 3:12pm Sunday 21st March 2021

A Dunedin baby, the world’s first scientifically confirmed reincarnation, has been sent a bill from StudyLink requesting repayment of her past self’s $70,000 student loan.  In a development that rocked the scientific community, the Otago Medical School confirmed that Katie Liu, Read more...

Optimistic Student Clicks ‘Going’ To Hyde Street Before Ticket Release

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 21st March 2021

Displaying optimism that borders on audacity, Jessica shocked her friends and the broader Dunedin community by clicking ‘Going’ to the Hyde Street Facebook event on the Tuesday that the party was announced.  “Unbelievable. It’s just rude,” said another hopeful Read more...

Big Harbour Molar Statue Extracted for Cavities

Posted 2:04pm Sunday 14th March 2021

Ōtepoti’s iconic sculpture, the harbour molars, have been extracted due to bacterial decay. The cavities were first observed on the annual DENT269 field trip, during which Otago dentistry students pilgrimage to the harbour inlet and marvel at the enamel delights. This year their fun was Read more...

Student Did Not Only Take TOUR214 for the Free Wine

Posted 2:03pm Sunday 14th March 2021

Local student Danny DeVino is the first student in the history of the paper ‘Introduction To Wine Business,’ which includes wine tours and a wine-tasting exam, that isn’t taking the paper solely for the free wine.  When asked for comment, lecturer Chardonnay McGoon was Read more...

Landlord Said No to Pet Cat, But Possums In Ceiling Are No Problem

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 7th March 2021

Dunedin landlord Michael Moneybags maintains that the possums in his London Street property’s ceiling are not an issue that he needs to fix. Upon receiving a 14-day notice from his tenants to get rid of the possums, Moneybags did not respond. After a month, he told the tenants “the Read more...

Local Man Believes Kingfisher is Exotic Beer

Posted 1:35pm Sunday 7th March 2021

Local man and beer connoisseur Arthur Davies has long prided himself on his exquisite taste in beers. Shunning established New Zealand favourites like Tui, Steinlager, and Southern Gold as mere “swill” and “only good for my father to get drunk to before beating me with a Read more...

Fresher’s Toga Has Pockets

Posted 2:12am Wednesday 3rd March 2021

Mikaela may be new to Dunedin, but her Toga sure isn’t!  Spotted at Wednesday night’s greco-roman bash, first-year Mikaela sported a handmade toga worn by three generations of family frothers. The sweat encrusted piece included proper waist fashioners, hand sewn leaf drapery, and Read more...

Breatha is “Sorry” After Stern Telling-Off From Dunedin News

Posted 2:07am Wednesday 3rd March 2021

North Dunedin resident and self-described “fresher-fiend” Jock Hunter has been reportedly left deeply remorseful after the litter left from a party at his flat was roundly condemned by local residents on the Dunedin News page on Facebook. The crusading hordes, none of whom have actually Read more...

Student Refuses to Remove Apple Watch During Sex

Posted 9:21pm Thursday 3rd October 2019

“I just can’t risk it,” he says. “What if an important email comes in while I’m shaggin? My life moves too fast, man, I can’t tap out while I bang it out.” What a tremendous lifestyle. Sources close to the student report that this claim is “entirely Read more...

Graduation Actually One Giant Apple Data Harvest

Posted 9:21pm Thursday 3rd October 2019

A reliable source within the University has anonymously leaked information to the Critical Tribune regarding December’s graduation ceremony. Mr X has confirmed that Charlene Chainz has sold the physical data of all attending graduates to Apple Inc., in exchange for a 100-foot yacht that she Read more...

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