News

The flat hunt is on in the domain of the first-years, opening them up to a whole world of new shenanigans.

 A flat-to-be of five was sorting out their bond money one night and realised that they could make a bit more money if they put some on the tennis, so they decided to put it all on Djokovic to beat Federer in US Open Semi Final. That was fine and dandy, except then one of the flat-mates thought that they could make just a little bit more by putting a multi on. So, he chucked in one of the ‘top’ women who was only paying $1.10 to beat her opponent. Most of the other boys had gone to bed by now, and when they woke up they saw Djokovic had won. They were initially pretty stoked, not realising that the woman had lost, and taken all their bond money with her. Needless to saw a few harsh words were said, and the boys had to phone home asking for some more moolah.
   Apart from the potential to gamble away flat funds (put flat shop on black, eat like kings), the other flat-hunt-related knees-up tends to be the age-old tradition of the initiation. Freshers all around the city are being ordered to attend the initiation of the flat they have signed for next year where, upon arrival, they are put through a baptism of fire, being made to do all kinds of alcohol-related stunts to amuse the (usually) second-years pulling the strings. One unfortunate lad was put through a Castle Street initiation and made to bomb three bottles of Corban’s exquisite range of vino. On the crawl home, the lad couldn’t make it to a toilet, and dumptrucked while curled up in the fetal position on the pavement. Another initiate was chased down the street and forced to shelve a party pill. 
   We heard this one a while back but since we had some extra space, and since it takes the piss out of Aquinas, we thought we’d share. The story starts with one sloppy madam at Arana, who came home from a night of boozing and decided to stop by her RA’s empty room. Taking in the orderly view the young lady decided the room could be improved by taking everything out of the cupboards, dumping it on the floor, having a spew in the bathroom, and passing out on the RA’s bed. Her punishment?: being banished to the frozen gulag of Aquinas for a week. Apparently she begged to be expelled rather than trek up that hill seven times, but the authorities wanted to make an example of her, so off to Aquinas she went.
   In less fecal/punishment related news, a girl/guy friendship has finally been taken to the next level at Hayward. The mates wanted a printed message of congratulations and so we obliged.