Bouncing off the Halls - 22

This week’s eagerly-anticipated installment of Bouncing off the Halls begins on a more formal note, covering the antics of the University College’s premier social event: the Ball.

Most of the Hall’s female population rounded off a week of pathetically starving themselves by crying hysterically in front of the mirror before finally braving the dresses they used to fit in seventh form, while the boys half-heartedly joked about how many condoms (and beers) they would need to pork the aforementioned emotional wrecks. 
   The night started off with a few casual pre-drinks, where one ultra-awesome guy sacked a bottle of gin in an hour and was in bed at 4.30, fire-trucking his way to infamy. Needless to say he missed the Ball. Once at the always-glamorous Union Hall, things went smoothly, until some boys decided to get a little smokey in the loos downstairs. The fire alarm went off mid-blaze, and the ball had to be stopped prematurely. But after a smoke and chat outside, things got back on track, much to everyone’s relief.
   Over at City Col, greed got the better of one resident after a night out, as it was reported two ‘older-looking’ boys were seen leaving her room in the morning. The girl swears that nothing porno happened, and that they just talked until they all fell asleep. Worst. Spitroast. Ever. 
   Meanwhile, at Arana, one resident was introduced to Airwick’s cheaper cousin, when his Hall-mates managed to get a human turd inside a joey and hide it in his room, next to the heater no less. It took the poor guy two weeks to find it, but it’s okay “Because he never gets girls in there anyway.” Good mates. 
   And to round up this week’s installment of classic first-year stories, two girls at Cumby were paid $25 to hook up in front of a group of the boys. They did it, but instead of getting paid they then got bought drinks all night, which apparently ended up just “loosening the hinges” further. Win-win for the boys, we speculate. 
Posted 12:42am Monday 6th September 2010 by .