The Great Dunedin Nitro Conspiracy

The Great Dunedin Nitro Conspiracy

TL;DR: Police aren’t getting rid of your fave RTD

In issue 15 (the one with the rad skiing rat on the cover from a few weeks ago) we published in the TL;DR section of the news that the DCC and Police were allegedly trying to phase out the sale of Nitro. This was inaccurate, and we apologise for any upset caused by this news. But we had good reason to think that: a sign boasting their logo, inside a liquor store, told us so. And thus began one of the longest-lasting headaches of the year (it was only a week).
 
The TL;DR was based on a message from one of our reporters in the Critic staff chat saying “Apparently the police and council are trying to phase out Nitro?” They’d heard this from their partner who works at a Super Liquor and is plugged into chat about liquor licensing, where Nitro has allegedly been thrown around in health risk convos. But this was all hearsay, and something we really should have checked before putting it in the mag (again, sorry). 
 
The Vice President of OUSA, Imogen, then sent us a photo on Friday, July 28, of a sign she spotted in Leith Liquor stating that Nitro was “no longer available due to changes in the Liquor Licensing Laws (SOLA)” since it has “high levels of Guarana & Caffeine and is deemed a health risk.” The sign had the logo of the New Zealand Police and the Southern District Health Board at the bottom of it. This wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility given recent Police activity, like their opposition to Countdown’s liquor licensing over the sale of high-strength single-serve beer (which they weren’t stocking anyway lol). This would all naturally lead you to believe that Police really were behind it. Right?
 
Wrong. “Police aren’t looking to oppose licences based on them selling Nitro,” the Dunedin Police said in an email sent to OUSA President Quintin. “Nitro isn’t illegal, so stores can sell it.” They weren’t even aware of the issue, and said they would be “happy to go speak to the stores and clarify”. As for the Southern DHB, it doesn’t even exist anymore. It was dissolved in July last year as part of a nationwide overhaul of the DHB system and replaced by Te Whatu Ora. 
 
And Quintin couldn’t find anything of substance about the liquor licensing law SOLA that was referred to by the sign, either, despite spending what he said was half a conference searching. 
 
At this point OUSA’s Vice President, President, and Critic Te Ārohi were all left scratching our heads. Where’d the fucking sign come from? Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) had been following up on the supposed “health risks”, as well, and got a response from Nitro in simply responding: “Nar bollocks!” Seriously, they said that. I guess that tracks, though.
 
Imogen had a new theory: “I bet it’s internal at each liquor store rather than the police or actual law changes because Nitro is so cheap.” Turns out she was (mostly) bang on the money.
 
After being bounced between different store managers at Liquorland, and following a tip from Jai at SSDP - who’d been told by Anderson’s Bay Liquorland that the decision had most likely been made by the owner of Leith Liquor, Andy Bay, and Meenans - Critic got a meeting with the elusive owner. He confirmed to a reporter that he was the one who made the call to take Nitro off the shelves in his stores - not the Police or the (non-existent) Southern DHB. Bang! We got him. I nearly wept with relief. It was closure almost as sweet as a drunk apology text from your ex.
 
The owner said “maybe 60%” of the decision was because of a string of robberies at his store in Andy Bay that have targeted Nitro, being both a very effective and easily concealable drink. Along similar lines, Leith Liquor stopped stocking tobacco a few years back after it had been the target of violent robberies across the country.
 
He also cited conversations that have been happening around liquor licensing in Aotearoa and high-percentage single-serve drinks (Nitro technically isn’t meant to be single serve, but let’s be honest). “Under the social aspect of it being a product that is highly sought after but also pretty high on the scale of not being socially acceptable, I made the decision to take it off the shop floor,” adding that the store’s location means that he’s been “looking after students for 13 years” and always tries to have their best interests at heart.
 
As for the sign? “A bloody idiot,” he said. “[I] could only apologise for the police and liquor licensing” mentions in the sign “because it was done off my own bat. It had nothing to do with them whatsoever.” In the moment, he supposed he’d been thinking that it would be a lot simpler to offload the blame onto higher authorities, and avoid any grief over it in the process. He didn’t think anything more of it until he got word while overseas from his stores about some students who wouldn’t stop calling about Nitro.
 
But now the Police want to know why he used their logo. If it weren’t for those meddling kids, huh? 
This article first appeared in Issue 18, 2023.
Posted 2:19pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Nina Brown.