"Fuck, you are so tight," said my client as he lay face down on the massage table. He was trying to stick a finger into my butthole. It took all my might not to burst out laughing. I thought to myself ‘…does this man think he is touching my vagina right now? Does he seriously not know what a butthole feels like?'
I started doing sensual massage during the latest summer uni break. A close friend got me into it, having been in the industry herself for over a year. When she first told me what does for a living I was a little shocked, followed by very curious. Like most of us, I had only ever seen or heard of sex work on TV so I had a lot of questions. As we sat down to have lunch in a fancy Auckland restaurant. she began to tell me all about the work. She started by telling me how much money she makes. My poverty stricken student heart nearly exploded. At the time I was working part time, and she was making more in an hour than I was making for the 15 hours I was working just above minimum wage. When we were done she handed over $200 in cash to pay the bill, with several more 50s sitting in her wallet. "You look like you've just robbed a bank," I told her, and we both laughed. "Something like that," was her reply.
That day she planted the seed in my head that this was something I could do, too. I thought about it a lot. The money was a huge motivating factor, but there were other aspects of it that sounded enticing as well. You get very good at reading people and figuring out their intentions in a split second, she had told me. When you are not with clients, your time is yours to spend however you like. Not to mention you’ll become more confident in yourself, she told me.
I continued to think about it in the coming weeks, but then I hit a hurdle. I looked into it further and found out that I would have to perform the massages fully nude. Now, I have what society deems a ‘conventionally attractive’ body. Decent boobs and ass, lean legs, pretty face. But that doesn't mean I don’t have my fair share of body confidence issues. Before I started in this job I didn't even like looking at myself naked. I would cower away from the mirror after a shower and rush to put clothes on. I am crippled by a dislike for my stomach. I almost exclusively wear baggy men’s t-shirts in order to hide it. I would sooner have run through a burning building than gone out in public in a crop top, or even a fitted singlet. Getting naked in front of strangers? Not a chance. However, the thought of the money I could make kept me from slamming the door entirely on the idea.
"Do I smell like semen? I've showered twice but I swear I can still smell it on me."
After several more conversations with my friend, she more or less forced me into an interview with her boss, telling me I would be way less intimidated once I had seen the place and met some more of the girls. "It's dim lighting, and you can turn the lights down as low as you want. Plus, these guys are staring at your boobs, your ass, your pussy. They are not looking at your stomach wondering if it is too jiggly." The manager of the place reiterated the same message at our interview. "You are a human being. There are going to be days when you feel bloated, or chubby, or just totally unsexy for no good reason. But to these guys, you are still going to be the hottest women they have ever laid their eyes on, bloated or not. Just try not to fart in their face though, okay?”
Fast forward to three months later, and I have wanked off nearly one hundred men. I have also made over $10,000. I have heard some outrageous stories. I can also honestly say that I enjoy the job.
Let's get into what you are most curious about, the nuts and bolts of the gig. Maybe you're thinking about where you could get into it. Maybe you are sitting at home with your hands down your pants thinking about it.
I get paid $90 an hour for each booking. A standard booking includes a full body massage for the client and a hand job to finish off. Clients can either book you directly, or they can come in and meet each of the girls on shift and then choose which one they want. You greet the client in lingerie, set up the room and tell them to have a quick shower. When you come back to start the massage, both you and the client are fully nude throughout. My workplace also includes body slides in the massage, where you basically glide your oiled up boobs over their chest and back. They fucking love that part and, honestly, so do I. There are huge mirrors on most of the walls and I look over at myself, ass in the air, back arched, sliding over this dude and I always look so damn good doing it.
You also have the option of doing 'extras' in a booking. Things like blowjobs, them touching you and kissing, to name a few examples. Basically anything is on the table (except penetrative sex, that's totally off limits). Extras are where the real money is made. As a worker, you get to decide who you offer extras to, what extras you want to do, and how much you charge the client (within reason). I have made $250-$300 in extras on occasion, on top of the booking rate. It’s set up in such a way that allows you full autonomy over your body. If you don't feel like having your pussy touched today, no one gets to touch it. Some girls choose to make as much cash as they possibly can, so they offer most or all extras to anyone that wants it. Full power to them. For me, I have to have at least a tiny bit of genuine attraction towards them in order to do extras, otherwise I can easily slip into feeling like I am being degraded. Attraction isn’t necessarily physical, it is about connecting with the person on a human level, whether through conversation or body language.
It would be easy to compare yourself to the girls around you and get lost in a toxic cycle of trying to measure up. However, you quickly learn that each girl has something unique they bring to the table and guys are always looking for different experiences. There are some girls who are drop dead gorgeous model types, there are also plus sized girls, and girls of every ethnicity. The biggest learning curve for me was realising that looks are only a fraction of why a man might choose to book you. Contrary to popular belief, men don't just want the hottest babe to look at. Often, they choose me because I am good at conversation, or because they say have kind eyes, or because I was courteous and helpful in our initial meeting.
I discovered my selling point very early on. The conversation always begins the same way:
Client: "So, what do you do outside of this? Are you a student?"
Me: "Yes, I’m at uni."
Client: "What do you study?"
Me: "I study Politics."
Client: "Politics? Oh wow, you must be very smart.”
They always seem amazed that you are capable of being both an intelligent person and a naked sexy person. I don't think I will ever get used to standing butt naked in front of a middle age man having detailed debates and conversations about politics, all while trying to get him hard and jerk him off. Don't get me wrong, I love when this happens but some guys just don't seem to understand that I cannot slide my body all over you with your hard dick in my hand, and discuss Winston Peters chances in the next election concurrently.
On the other hand, sometimes you really fucking work for your money. While most clients respect you as a human being, some come in thinking that you’re their toy to play with and that they can treat you however they want. They push the boundaries, or ignore them completely and try to force you into situations you don't want. I have never felt physically unsafe or in danger, but I have left bookings feeling drained, irritated and angry. There was one regular client who just wanted to spend an hour kissing my boobs and neck. He was so pushy, had disgusting breath and just completely unattractive. After telling him repeatedly that I would not kiss him, he tried to emotionally manipulate me into providing that service, saying things like, "you don't want to kiss me because I am ugly. I know I am disgusting, you don't have to admit it."
Clients using manipulation schemes are not uncommon. They seem to forget that we’ve seen it all before and are onto their games. Often, guys will refuse to cum in an effort to make you do extras that you have already said no to. They know that we need to make them cum in order to finish the booking on time, and will say that they can't cum unless you suck them off or until they can touch you. Some guys will try to not pay for extras because they claim that you enjoyed it, so that should be enough.
It never ceases to amaze me how many men come to the establishment and push for penetrative sex (called a ‘full service’). They know the rules, they know it isn't an option and yet they will spend their whole booking trying to coerce you into it. It’s a power play. They could easily go to a brothel or hire an escort and pay (significantly less money) to have sex. Instead, they want to believe that they are the chosen one that you made an exception for. Honestly, I think that it’s sad.
Working in this job has given me a newfound sense of confidence and enabled me, for the first time, to set and enforce clear boundaries with men. This is an aspect of the job that I have transferred to my personal life. It is incredibly empowering to be able to say, ‘no, I will not do this’, or ‘do not speak to me like that’ and mean it. If a client is being very pushy, rude, or making you feel uncomfortable (above what is reasonably expected) you have the right to cut the booking short and they are told to leave. It means the power is always in your hands, and that you set boundaries that you want without explanations, excuses, or compromise.
"I just got paid to spit in a man's mouth." This client liked to be verbally humiliated and spat on. It was my first time doing anything power play related and I actually really enjoyed it. It felt a little unnatural at first, but we established really good boundaries at the beginning of the session and I my took cues from him. After a few months of having some dickhead clients, it was therapeutic to be able to project all my frustrations out on him, all the things I wish I could have said to others. "You're pathetic", I would say. He would groan and he touched himself. "I like it when you say that. Keep going" he said to me. "You're worthless. You disgust me." If you had of told me six months ago that my job would have me saying this, I would have fallen off my chair.
I can honestly say that I’m the best version of myself right now and a summer of sex work has helped shape me into that person. The job was tough at times. You sometimes feel like you are giving little pieces of yourself to every client. You have to have thick skin, a sense of humour, and resilience in spades. On the other hand, I am the most confident and self-assured I have ever been. I feel like I know myself in ways that I wouldn't have discovered otherwise. It is not a job for everyone. Several girls have left and have sworn they will never be back. For me, even on the bad days, the money still makes it worth it. On the good days, I am reminded that it is a job I am actually really good at (weird flex, I know) and that I get paid to orgasm, meet interesting people, and occasionally chat shit in a bathrobe with a wine in hand. Next Summer when I go back, I’m sure I’ll wank off another hundred men.