Moaningful Confessions | All in the TL;DR

Moaningful Confessions | All in the TL;DR

TL:DR = I got fucked bent over the sink of some random castle street flat after Agnew street.

I'm sorry. Picture this, it's Agnew St party 2019 (rip), and I was pretty drunk at about 1pm, my rugby girl costume is soaked and absolutely covered in mud, I'm getting ready to leave with my friends after spending the day being pushed around by other drunken students.

Suddenly, I lock eyes with a good-looking, tall boy with dark brown hair through the crowd, dressed in some poorly executed Star Wars looking costume. He pushes through the crowd, we make small talk, and I know exactly where I want this to lead, so I make the first move and kiss him. He seems keen, so we push through the crowd with some of his friends and head back to their flat.

I thought these were his good friends, but I find out later in the evening that he had only met them on THAT DAY. Anyways, things get a little heated/flirty on the walk home and in the lounge, so one of the friends suggests we take their mates room, and we happily oblige.

We start making out and getting handsy in the bed before the said mate walks in and (understandably) kicks us out. This boys idea was then to move to the bathroom, and I'm like sure why not, fuck it. After locking the door and a bit more finger work, he bends me over the sink, puts on a condom and we start going at it. I still remember drunkenly looking at my reflection in the mirror and thinking "wow, this is bad bitch shit right here".

After a few minutes, we hear another knock on the door, we ignore it and continue, so then it turns into full on banging on the door. We hurriedly put on our pants, make the awkward trip back into the lounge to grab my shoes and our drinks before making the trip back to my hall at 3pm, where we showered and continued, he makes me cum (boys, take note) and we order in butter chicken for dinner. He stays the night, fucks me again in the morning and then leaves back to Timaru. A year on, he still messages me occasionally asking for a fuck when we happen to be in the same city.

To the randoms in that flat on Castle Street, I am so sorry that happened in your bed and bathroom, but also thanks as it made for a great experience. 10/10 recommend doing it over a bathroom sink.

This article first appeared in Issue 17, 2020.
Posted 9:42pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Critic.