Top 10 Ways to Remind your Flatmate to do their Dishes

1. Put a sad face on a post-it note

2. Message the group chat a friendly reminder, hehe!

3. Do it for them! Surely they'll remember next time!!!!

4. Lock the dishes in a cupboard that only you, the keeper of keys, know the combination to. They will only get access once they prove their worthiness

5. Call their parents and ask them to do the confrontation instead

6. Call their parents and ask them what the fuck kind of animal they raised

7. Start using their MacBook Pro as a dinner plate

8. Throw a dish at their head every time they enter the room

9. Set up a chore wheel :)

10. Slowly seduce your flatmate, make them fall in love with you, get married and adopt several offspring. Say you're going out for a pack of cigarettes and drive off to start a new life. As the home you've built slowly recedes in the rear view mirror, text them. "Next time, maybe wash your own fucking cereal bowl, Pete."

This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2019.
Posted 8:30pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Critic.