How to Get Drunk Without Drinking?

How to Get Drunk Without Drinking?

Hey! Do you love getting drunk, but have a fear of liquids? Then do I have the recipe for you.

Jelly shots are an easy way to get sloshed. They go down easy, don’t make you feel bloated and are ideally suited for those with tiny bladders.



85g Jelly Crystals

250ml Boiling Water

200ml Gin or Vodka


Whack the jelly crystals in a big Pyrex jug or a mixing bowl. Add your boiling water, and mix that up properly until all the crystals are completely dissolved.  Continue mixing it for about 5 minutes to let it cool down before you add the spirits. There is a narrow window of temperature you need to hit when you add the spirits. If it is too hot, the spirits will evaporate off and you’ll just be getting demolished on jelly. If it is too cold, the jelly will have already started setting so you will have pre-set jelly with some spirits poured over the top.

When you’ve made the mix, decant into ice trays and refrigerate overnight.

Have these for breakfast and you’re guaranteed a great day.


Photo by andrew jay on Unsplash
This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2019.
Posted 9:03pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by Gordon Oliver.