The Post-Fact World | Issue 09

Antiherstamines are antihistamines for women

Hersterectomies are hysterectomies for women

His-t-erect-omies are hysterectomies for men

Despite their reputation, cows are actually land mammals - they only go out to sea to die

If you are making a cake and you don’t have enough eggs, you can substitute an egg

Crying is just sweating out your eyes

Hyde Street is so named because it can turn invisible

Forth street is so named because it is worse than Hyde, Leith, and Castle

Union Street is so named because we are all unified by love and togetherness, buzzing around this existential plane and feeling each other’s energy.

Sports are skorts for sporks

The Hyde Street Party was originally just a large street market for discount recreational drugs.

There is a direct link between the length of your beard and the amount of weed in your pocket at any given time.

OUSA President Caitlin Barlow-Groome is secretly a lizard person planted by our shape-shifting evil reptilian underlords to control ur minds! Wake up sheeple!

Harlene Hayne has her own theme song which must play every time she walks into a University Council meeting. It’s Freestyler by Bomfunk MC’s.

This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2018.
Posted 2:38am Monday 30th April 2018 by Critic.