Mystery Object Hunt (May 15-21)

Monday 15 May – Choclate Chip Day
Relinquish your “I’ll start on Monday” diet, for it’s Chocolate Chip Day and there are few ways of celebrating that do not involve eating them. Tragic.

Tuesday 16 May – Biographer's Day
Biographer’s Day! Marry a biographer, buy a biography... the choices are endless.

Wednesday 17 May – World Baking Day and World Telecommunications Day
I challenge you to use your telecommunications device to communicate with someone while eating/creating a baked morsel. Supermarket bread may count, depending on your level of enthusiasm. It strikes me how intrinsically enthusiastic humanity is, for we partake in these celebrations most days of the year anyway. Go us.

Thursday 18 May – Visit Your Relatives Day
Oh to be wealthy and spontaneously fly to visit the fam for Visit Your Relatives Day. Unless a Dunedin native, you are forgiven for not celebrating this one. No Dirty Dishes Day is also a long shot but I suppose we could try.

Friday 19 May – Pizza Party Day
Pizza Party Day. Need I say more?

Saturday 20 May – World Whisky Day and World Fiddle Day
A feasible Saturday night celebration. (Be a Millionaire Day is also today but we can ignore that one; I prefer to flaunt my student loan).

Sunday 21 May – I Need A Patch For That Day
I Need A Patch For That Day is possibly not real but I’m going to hope it is because it’s brilliant. Want to quit smoking? Patch it. Holes in your jeans? Patch that bad boy. Want to join a gang? Maybe don’t patch that one, but celebrate the thought in your mind. 

This article first appeared in Issue 11, 2017.
Posted 1:51pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Critic.