Columns

We all know that the hard sports like rugby are played by jocks, and that those who wish they were jocks play football. What do those at the bottom of the food chain, the nerds, play?

A quick internet search comes up with a plethora of different games and activities, but it was hard to come to the conclusion that they were truly sports. 
   The results were surprising. The obvious games one would associate with nerdiness were there – fantasy role-playing for example. Chess Boxing, which involves the competitors alternating rounds of boxing and chess, also came up. Obviously hilarity ensures, as the chess gets worse and worse as the athletes suffer blows to the head; what’s even better is that the bouts are almost always mis-matched so that in one corner there is a screaming meathead while in the other is Kevin from Accounts. 
   Chess Boxing’s stroke of genius in taking two sports from different sides of the track and then combining them in such an explosion of entertainment is one that only geeks could come up with.
   It’s not just chess-playing pugilist geeks that have all the fun; geeks have everything covered, even jousting. The sport that was once confined to interbred blue bloods is now the arena of spectacle-wearing, smelly-underarmed kids. 
   Speaking of computers, this column would not be complete without the holy grail of all geek sports: competitive video gaming. 
   I know what all you jocks out there will be thinking: “How can video games be that hard, I could beat any nerd at FIFA 2010.” Well, think again. 
   It takes a lot of effort to become so good at video games that you could make your living off it; think of all those hours subjecting your eyes and brain to the torturous sounds and flashes of light. For so many it is worth every day spent without sleep to be crowned a video game champion. 
   In no other place in the video game universe are these modern day gladiators more revered than the Korean Republic, where whole television channels are dedicated to these masters of gaming. They even have their own teams and dedicated arenas where the teams compete, with thousands of Koreans screaming for their virtual reality gods. Players can even make a good living off competitive gaming – gaming organisations may ‘buy’ players for up to half a million US dollars.
   So, next time you walk past an internet cafe at 3am, and look in and see it still packed, don’t look down on those who are in there; they could quite possibly the sporting superstars of the future. 
   At least there won’t be girls lining after a video game match to get into the pants of the sporting stars. That’s the one thing those damn jocks will always have.