Columns

So, you have been reading this column for a while now and one morning you wake up and think, “sh*t, I think Sir Lloyd is talking about me, I think I am [insert appropriate label here].” By now you are probably experiencing a full-on existential crisis, having an anxiety attack and Snapchatting your panicked duck face to everyone you know! Chill out, take a breath and start thinking things through.

Often dude-bros ask me, “Eh, Lloyd mate, when did ya figure out that you like D gobbling?” To which I usually reply, “Well, my dear sir, it was probably about the same time that you came to the conclusion that the V is your genitalia of choice.” For me it was this simple: I hit puberty and started thinking that some of the guys at school were kinda cute and started thinking that I might like to try a little hanky panky with them.

My story is fairly common, but it is not the same for everyone. Some people don’t figure out their identity for many years, either because they were unaware of the possibility of being a certain way or were actively trying to suppress certain desires. Others experience a certain fluidity in identity and therefore can often find it difficult to take on a label. In some cases people experience a dichotomous switch in their identity, e.g. change from feeling and identifying as straight to gay in a very short space of time.

So how do you know if you are queer or not? It is near impossible to explain in a short number of words, but there are people out there who can help you think it through. In regards to sexuality they might ask you questions like, “the last time you saw an attractive man/ woman, how did that make you feel?” “The last time you were intimate with someone, what was their gender and how was it for you?” “The last time you looked at explicit material (porn), which gender turned you on the most?”

If you want to explore this more, chat to the lovely people at Student Health, the talented Queer Support Coordinator at OUSA (q.support@ousa.org.nz) or you can email your old pal Sir Lloyd.