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Oh man, I just walked into a spider-web! Gross! Or fashion?

While some runway fashion may look like the model just escaped from Shelob’s giant spider web, scientists are taking that idea a bit further. I’m sure you’ve heard that spider silk is way stronger than steel – the only reason you can break a spider’s web with ease is because the strands are so fine. It’s also more elastic than rubber, and can stay that strong and stretchy below -40°C! This shit is pretty much magic. And if you get silk from the Golden Orb Spider it is, in fact, golden! Seriously, Google “Spider Silk Cape.” Goddamn majestic.

Also, the silk is biodegradable, has antibacterial properties and your immune system doesn’t recognise it. See where I’m going with this? It could be invaluable in medical applications, as well as making better-than-kevlar vests and glorious eco-friendly capes. And violin strings, because why not.

The problem is that it’s difficult to get a lot of spider silk out. Farming spiders, as it turns out, is not very successful: they eat each other, and don’t make much silk anyway. If only we had Spider-man. Scientists are working on ways to make spider silk without the spiders, but it’s a complicated process. The spider makes a coiled mess of protein in the spinning gland, then passes it through a series of specific chemical conditions that make it into the silk we know and love. The sticky stuff is just a coating added as it comes out.

So far we have been able to make the basic unprocessed protein, but not a whole lot further. As soon as scientists figure out how to do that, spider silk will be everywhere. And spiders will finally get the recognition and adoration they deserve! Well, recognition at least …

Not weird enough for you? How about hagfish slime? Yeah, that’s as gross as it sounds. Hagfish are really ancient creatures that kind of look like eels. If something grabs onto them they release a shitload of snot-like slime then squirm out of its grasp. Turns out, this slime is made from a protein that forms threads – that can be woven into fabric! The protein is smaller and easier to work with than the stuff made by spiders, so bacteria can make it in huge quantities. This potential fabric is not only way more eco-friendly than current synthetic materials (made from petroleum), it’s stronger too. So fewer ladders in one’s tights, and Captain Planet will be happy too!

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to chuck on a hagfish-slime dress and spider-silk coat every morning! That’s science, bitches.