Welcome back to your favourite corner of Critic, you little degenerates. It’s a new year, new reviews, this year you've got five semi-functional students sacrificing their wallets and livers so you don't have to.
We’re Swig60 and in this week’s review, hailing from the land of the rising sun at 6% ABV we’ve got the return of the fan favourite Kirin Hyoketsu, this time in the succulent and much raved about Raspberry.
Tasting Notes:
On the first sip, it’s exactly what you’d expect from a Hyoketsu: lolly water and some fuckass fruit flavouring as an afterthought. Out of the bunch though, we reckon this is the easiest drinking flavour yet, with the alcohol taste being super well-hidden and noticeably less fizz than the others. It goes down suspiciously easy. Almost too easy.
Ratings:
Speight Sheppard summed it up best: “sweet, affordable, tastes pretty good and it’s probably waiting for the next White Fox drop."
Value-wise, Grog Robertson ran the numbers. It didn’t quite hit the sacred golden ratio of $1.50 per standard, but it edged close enough to avoid public shame. Final value rating: 7/10
In terms of fight-instigation potential, Israel Chugasanya’s killer instinct wasn’t brought out by this one. A mild 4/10 for making you wanna overshare and cry to your friends about how much you love them rather than just playing a little fisty-cuff with the lads.
Brendan McScullem confirmed they “slid late,” meaning these remain dangerously delicious well into the night – a blessing and a curse your flatmates would say. Meanwhile, Waisnorkel Naholo awarded it an 8/10 on the all-important snorkelability scale.
Swig60’s Verdict:
Overall it's a sweet and crushable contender to fuel your Wednesday to Sunday nights. It's not groundbreaking but it's also not offensive to the tastebuds. Just a solid addition to the “I’ve got $30, poor decision making skills and a free night” rotation.
Drink Responsibly. Or at least strategically.