Archive

Long Live the King

Posted 4:17pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%.  You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%.  People identifying as female must Read more...

Goops, I did it again! An idiot’s guide to stain removal

Posted 4:11pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Happiness is fleeting, we all die, and nothing is truly permanent. Nothing, that is, except for stains that you don’t get out in time (fuck you especially, red wine). O week is full of shenanigans that can ruin your clothes, soft furnishings, and possibly your future. Luckily, Critic is no Read more...

Highway to the Danger Zone

Posted 12:15pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thrill seekers are everywhere in Franz, to the point where bartenders used to “free-pour shots into open mouths like Cancun”, according to some guy I met in a spa pool. And to take care of those tourists, many students work in Franz over summers where they’ll invariably end up at Read more...

When The Party’s Over

Posted 10:56am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Iris Hehir

CW: This piece contains discusson of substance abuse, suicide and sexual assault.    Chances are the worst thing you’ve ever done was on the piss, and the worst you’ve ever felt about life was on a dusty Sunday morning.    “We always talk about Read more...

Putting the ‘Fuck’ in Whakapapa

Posted 10:08pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

There’s a scene in Mean Girls where Karen Smith justifies getting with your cousin. And maybe she had a point. Yeah, it’s probably a pretty desperate move, but in some cases, it’s excusable. You didn’t hear it from me.    They say that forbidden fruit - or in Read more...

Table Manners: Dunedin’s Beer Pong Rules

Posted 12:13pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Nina Brown

You'd be hard pressed to find a flat that hasn't been witness to a fight over the rules of beer pong. Can you block a bounce shot? What happens when you hit the bitch cup? And what the fuck is a frozen chicken? Critic Te Ārohi asked (almost 50 questions), and 282 of you delivered. Read more...

Burning Rubber: Undie 500

Posted 12:00pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

Though now synonymous with riot police, couch burnings and general depravity, the Undie 500 (read: “undie-five-hundie”) had humble beginnings – just ask Doris, the ‘67 Holden Special. The annual event was a tradition spanning from 1988-2009, with a history as long and messy Read more...

BIONICLE: The Craziest Use of Te Reo You’ve Never Heard of

Posted 12:16pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

Once upon a time, the great being Mata Nui wandered the endless cosmos. But his evil brother, Makuta, plotted to destroy him. Makuta summoned hoards of monsters, but could not take the Great Spirit’s life. Instead, Makuta cast Mata Nui into an eternal slumber. His body came crashing down from Read more...

It’s In Our Roots

Posted 12:14pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

If you’ve ever done a course on Duolingo, you’ll probably have noticed that the French think shovels are feminine and cheese is masculine. Colonisers, amirite?) But te reo Māori doesn’t really place emphasis on masculine and feminine nouns, and instead garners much of its Read more...

Sub-Culture: The political leanings of our suburbs

Posted 8:27pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin’s suburbs are teeming with culture – and we don’t just mean microbially. Unfortunately, most students don’t venture out of their bubble of safety until graduation comes, aside from an occasional hoon to St Clair or a mish out to a dealer. From the absurd rent prices Read more...