Archive

Opinion: Chlöe Swarbrick is still a politician

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jordan Irvine

As a child, my parents were Labour voters and to me that seemed like the moral choice. John Key’s National government at the time did not have their best interests at heart as they prioritised wealth over wellbeing. New Zealand First, headed at the time by an old Winston Peters, appealed more Read more...

Tall Etiquette: Reaching new heights in allyship at concerts

Posted 9:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jonathan McCabe

If you’ve attended Electric Ave, Six60 or one of the first few Pint Nights, you would have noticed some pretty appalling crowd etiquette. You don’t need to part a friend group like the Red Sea to get to the front. In a mosh situation, tall people must act very carefully. Sometimes you Read more...

Lecture Theatre Bingo

Posted 9:25pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

Lectures can be fucking boring. This could be because you’re doing a degree you hate, your lecturer has the worst voice in the world or says “um” too much. Or it could just be a ceebs that day. Critic Te Ārohi has now invented a solution for when you have run out of Cool Maths Read more...

$40, 14 Arcade Games, Weeded-Up

Posted 5:46pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

Dolphins get high off pufferfish and wallabies ransack opium from the poppy fields. So what did we do? We tapped into our innate animalistic tendencies and got high to play arcade games. Sober or no, the arcade is an iconic spot.  For the purposes of this article and accurate retelling, Read more...

Withdrawing from Yourself

Posted 4:58pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Jordan Irvine

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts I have been taking antidepressants for nearly five years now, and though they’re infamous for their side effects there is just one thing I can’t get over. Weirdly enough, I’ve made my peace with the weight gain, mood swings and Read more...

Weird Cones 2: Electric Bongaloo

Posted 4:52pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Critic Staff

The idea of doing a sequel to one of our favourite articles ever, ‘I tried to rip bongs through household ingredients’, has been floating around the writers’ room for years now like a cloud of questionable smoke. The original included bongs of raw eggs, sardines, and instant Read more...

Reviewing Literal Shitholes: The Best Places to Shit on Campus

Posted 11:52pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Gryffin Blockley

Stomach churning, palms sweating, panic creeping in. You’re sitting in a lecture, when suddenly *that* feeling hits. Guaranteed to get you down in the dumps for the rest of the day, it’s a fight that you know you can’t win: You have to take a shit on campus, outside the safety of Read more...

Whebruary Wrapped

Posted 11:47pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

While the world recovers from New Year’s sluggishness, Māoridom hits the ground running – protesting, performing, protecting, and proving that mana Māori is as relentless as ever. For Māori, February isn’t just the second month of the year; it’s a battleground, Read more...

The Call of The Wild: A Bush Doof Epic

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Ella Grayson

I had always heard of bush doofs, and honestly, it sounded like some proper hippy shit. But when my name spawned in a mysterious meta server promoting an addy-to-be-confirmed neck-of-the-woods DNB-electro-psych doof to end all doofs, I knew something temptingly chaotic was on the horizon. My native Read more...

We Snuck Into Toga Party as 4th and 5th Years and Had The Best Night of Our Lives

Posted 8:28pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Abby Wallace

At a certain point of your university life, you stop feeling like a student and start feeling like an anthropologist observing student behaviour in the wild. The only time you set foot on Castle Street is to cut through to the Botans. The only people you recognise in Central are the librarians. You Read more...