Archive
No confidence and "Glodia" defeated in OUSA by-elections
Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney
OUSA will get to indulge its by-election fetish one more time, after Ruby Sycamore-Smith emerged victorious in the Welfare Officer contest. Since Ruby has now resigned her current position as Campaigns Officer in order to take up the welfare position, there will be another by-election. Bliss. Read more...
Fashion Angers The Patriarchy
Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Zane Pocock
Dunedin’s iD Fashion Week was launched last Monday evening at a boozy invite-only function in the bowels of the Otago Daily Times. While introducing Susie Staley, who is the iD Committee Chairperson, Paul Dwyer of the ODT had a dig at the event’s lack of a major sponsor, suggesting that Read more...
Nuts! Out! For The Girls! (Nuts Out For The Girls)
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Marcus Ellison
The art of streaking holds a curious place in New Zealand sporting culture. On the one hand very few people will go on record condoning the act. Broadcasters have gone as far as to pretend it doesn’t happen. They would rather cut to abstract shots of close-up grass than give a streaker the prize of Read more...
Apathetic Students Don't Show Up To Phoenix Game
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Greg Hall
After an eventful week that featured the resignation of long-time coach Ricki Herbert and a midweek loss to the Newcastle Jets, the Wellington Phoenix rallied and came away with a 1-0 victory against Melbourne in our own backyard. Jeremy Brockie scored the only goal in the fixture, which was the Read more...
Panesar Becomes Commerce Meathead
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron
England international cricketer Monty Panesar made a test appearance of a different kind by taking time out from his hectic training schedule to sit a two-hour exam at the Otago School of Business last Monday. Panesar is studying towards a Masters of Business Administration in Sport at Loughborough Read more...
Aquinas Loses Critic Privileges
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald
Following an attempt to separate themselves further from society, Aquinas College has been punished for hiding their weekly delivery of Critic magazines in a corner of the building’s foyer. The box of magazines, which was delivered on Monday 25 February, was shunned and hidden out of sight Read more...
OUSA To Spend App-roximately $30k
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Zane Pocock
In a meeting held early last week, OUSA announced they are “looking at the possibility” of developing applications for iOS, Android and Windows smartphones at an estimated upper-end cost of $30,000. The app would likely include features such as “bumping” smartphones to exchange timetables, Read more...
Crazed Gunman Terrorises Wealthy Dunedin Suburb
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Callum Fredric
At around 9pm on Wednesday 6 March, police and the Armed Offenders Squad were called out to a Tolcarne Avenue address in Maori Hill, where a man had apparently holed himself up in his house with his gun collection after a domestic incident. When Critic arrived at the property at 10pm after a Read more...
800 People Found Dead!
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron
In what sounds like the plot of Tomb Raider III, a German archaeologist has uncovered a mass of unmarked graves revealing almost 800 long-decaying bodies. Dr Hans-Dieter Bader of Archaeology Solutions Ltd took to Central Otago with his fluxgate gradiometer and hand-held GPS unit to reveal the Read more...
Polytech Battles Uni for Fair Trade Glory
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald
Yet again, Otago Polytechnic has made a dismal attempt to compete with the University of Otago. Only a few weeks after the Uni publicised its Fair Trade Campaign to become the first fully accredited fair trade tertiary institution in New Zealand, the Polytech announced their participation. In Read more...
Every Vote Counts! (Except Abstain)
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Staff Reporter
OUSA loves by-elections, and holds them all the time. This week they’re treating us to a delicious double-header, with both the Welfare and Postgraduate positions up for grabs. The candidates are Golda Matthias, Keir Russell and Ruby Sycamore-Smith. Golda and Ruby are duking it out for Welfare Read more...
More Details on Hyde Street Emerge
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Sam McChesney
OUSA has provided more details on the format of this year’s Hyde Street party, with numbers likely to be capped at 3500 and ticket allocations given to residents. The decisions come after a public meeting on Monday and a stakeholders’ meeting on Wednesday. Meanwhile, the Otago Daily Times’s coverage Read more...
Ricki Herbert Can Fuck Off
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Greg Hall
Ricki Herbert quit his job last week. Herbert had been in charge of the Wellington Phoenix since 2007. In that time he had a meagre 53 wins out of 154 games, a win percentage of around 34%. The Phoenix are woeful, and have been since their inception. Now, this may seem to be bordering on slander Read more...
Ruben Wiki Rims Rowdy Fan
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by John Burton
If you weren’t aware, history was made on 23 February. This may not help you narrow down the timeframe due to the haze of O-Week. It was the Saturday night. The Warriors came to town, their first ever visit to this delightful metropolis called Dunedin, and offered up our first taste of rugby league Read more...
Test Cricket in Dunedin
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric
A three-test series in New Zealand is rarer than a five-day test against South Africa. The England series is the Black Caps’ last chance to win some glory after a whitewash of a season, with just the one (admittedly epic) victory against Sri Lanka. The first test starts in Dunedin on Wednesday, at Read more...
High School Implements Tuxedo Dress Code
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Dennis Larson
Dunedin’s own King’s High School has set up a class to teach Year 9 boys how to become gentlemen, based on a Texas course called The Gentlemen’s Society. According to the Otago Daily Times, the course will teach the boys “how to act like a sophisticated man,” including dining etiquette, how Read more...
Roots Still Not Forgotten
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney
Dunedin’s most famous roots band, Six60, haven’t forgotten their roots. In fact, these roots have been remembered so well, locked so tightly in Six60’s collective temporal lobes, that they have announced a show in the little old town from whence they spawned. Six60 will rise up onto the stage at Read more...
Psycho Nerd Goes on One-Man Killstreak
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron
An online gamer has tragically turned his fantasy “Guild Wars” game into a real-life “killed wars” game after losing a fantasy battle and allegedly killing his cyber rival. Police believe the attack was most likely motivated by the game the pair were playing prior to the incident. A dispute is said Read more...
ODT Invents 19 People
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Zane Pocock
The Otago Daily Times are at it again, this week falsely reporting on a meeting they didn’t attend. The gathering in question was hosted last Tuesday afternoon at OUSA’s Recreation Centre by the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA). It was a workshop designed to involve students in Read more...
O-Week Induces O-Faces
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron
Orientation ’13 has been hailed as one of the best yet, with this year’s batch of fizzed-up freshers much better behaved than the previous year. The week was jam-packed with successful events, including the never-tiresome Toga Party, perennial favourite Guy Cater, headlining act Macklemore & Ryan Read more...
Hyde Street's Future in Jeopardy
Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney
Yesterday a rip opened in the space-time continuum, and Critic peered through a wormhole into the future. In this future, the 2013 Hyde Street Keg Party had been overtaken by meataxes. An influx of Christchurch bogans and the nihilism of the street’s inhabitants had wreaked havoc: people swung from Read more...
College Sports Day Occurs
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Hayden McGregor
College Sports Day 2013 was held on the Tuesday of O-Week. The new batch of freshers arrived to enjoy some friendly competition against their hall rivals, as well as impress their new friends with some deft skills in touch rugby, netball, volleyball and football. Dunedin’s unusually good summer form Read more...
Sport stops you getting fat, look it up.
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Gus Gawn
The sports pages are back for another year. One more year of denying the indie kids their ultimate goal of reserving Critic for unreadable niche comic strips, reviews of bands you never heard of and articles they plagiarised off Vice. Luckily, in 2013 we once again have an editor who loves his Read more...
OUSA Lauches Fair Trade Campaign
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Sam McChesney
OUSA pushed its new fair trade message at Tent City on Thursday. The policy, which has been approved by the student body and the University Council, aims to bring predominantly fair trade products to the already laughably overpriced campus shelves. The smell of freshly-roasted Rwandan coffee Read more...
Politicians jump on the O-Week bandwagon
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Sam McChesney
During O-Week, many things appear in the otherwise calm streets of Dunedin – short shorts, drunken bellows, vomit, cheery reps bearing vouchers that sound great when sensually pressed into your palm but actually promise nothing more than $1 off a kilo of tomatoes at the farmers’ market. The seasoned Read more...
"Thank you for letting me come here and dry hump your women!"
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Claudia Herron
These were the words not of a Labrador on heat, but Macklemore as he headlined Orientation 2013 at Forsyth Barr Stadium alongside Ryan Lewis. After 20 weeks charting on the Billboard 100, with hit song “Thrift Shop” peaking at #1, Macklemore proved the ultimate crowd-puller with the 5000-strong gig Read more...
Zombie Spotted At Toga Party
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Bella Macdonald
O-Week events were in full flight this week with 3000 freshers attending Forsyth Barr Stadium to take part in the infamous Toga Party on Tuesday night. DJs Swaren Veygal and 50Cal announced that it was, in fact, the biggest toga party in the world, to which the ear-piercing freshers shrieked Read more...
Student Culture Is Fucked
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Zane Pocock
Castle Street has officially become lame following the completed transformation of the former Gardens Tavern (“Gardies”) into a $3.3 million University-owned and operated student study centre. The building, located at the north end of Castle Street, was a much- loved and notorious student night spot Read more...
Proctor Approves Of Arm-Breaking As Form Of Punishment
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Bella Macdonald
Two University of Otago students had a disarming start to their O-Week after fall- ing off the roof of their flat, each breaking an arm. The incidents were subsequently leaked to the Otago Daily Times, humiliating the pair. The pair had been drinking a few beers when one of them fell off the Read more...
OUSA Cook-ing up a deal?
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Claudia Herron
Uncertainty surrounds the future of beloved student pub The Captain Cook Tavern, with DB Breweries’ lease of the bar due to run out on 29 June. The current sub-lessees, the Cook Brothers, have indicated that they do not intend to renew while OUSA have denied any bid to pick up the lease. However, Read more...
A trip down memory lane with Josh Kronfeld
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Gus Gawn
I’m a try-hard writer, so I’ll start with a quote: “It's true what they say, you should never meet your heroes, you'll only be disappointed.” (Father Dougal McGuire). Father Dougal is an idiot. Meeting your heroes is great. When I fell in love with rugby Josh Kronfeld was the best player in Read more...
Students Elect Students To The Student Seats Of Said Students’ Uni’s Council
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Staff Reporter
It’s been a full week since we had a student-based election round these parts – far too long, in Critic’s opinion. So for your voting pleasure, we present the Student Elections to the University Council. The Council is the governing body of the Uni, so it’s pretty important that there are students Read more...
Goble Gobbles Pussy
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Josie Adams
The year is coming to an end, and so is the career of one of the country’s foremost stars in student journalism: Howie Staples. During his illustrious career at Critic, which spanned a single year, Howie had his own column, graced the cover, recovered from a narcotics addiction, fooled some into Read more...
Otago Becomes Cheekier, Darker
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Claudia Herron
The number of Maori students enrolled at the University of Otago has increased by 23% over the last five years, although research has shown that Maori from poorer socio-economic areas are still under-represented in all professional programs relating to health sciences. Otago Health Sciences Read more...
It’s a Hard Knock Life
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Margot Taylor
A proposed refurbishment of the 116 year old Dunedin Prison will provide the opportunity for people to see the inside of a cell without having to be arrested. The former prison was bought by the Dunedin Charitable Trust in June for a mere $20,000. The prison was last home to criminals in Read more...
“Your Degree Is Fucking Useless” - NZ Herald
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Zane Pocock
In a prime example of how The New Zealand Herald has gone tabloid, they claimed last week that an international report shows that “New Zealand university degrees are the most worthless in the developed world”. The OECD report showed that the life-long value of a New Zealand man’s tertiary Read more...
Muhammad Zariq Farhan bin Mohd Hanif Wins Gold Award
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Gus Gawn
OUSA has presented the annual Otago Blues and Golds awards to the top athletes and cultural stars of the University of Otago. This is the 105th year in which the Blues have been awarded to students who have achieved to a high level in their chosen sport. The Golds Awards, which are in their Read more...
Affirmative Action Policy Leads to Selection of Right-Wing Editor
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Dennis Larson
The political neutrality and general quality of Critic magazine are in jeopardy after radical right-wing activist and suspected larcenist Callum Fredric was selected as Critic Editor for 2013. Fredric’s political bias is ingrained in the very follicles of his hair, which he has partially dyed Read more...
Idea Stolen From France Hailed as “Audacious”
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Claudia Herron
The Public Trust Building hosted a lavish awards ceremony for the 2012 Audacious student business plan competition, in which Ryan Everton took out the top honour with his sustainable plastic cup. Everton received $8,000 to put toward his company Globelet, which aims to reduce waste in New Zealand. Read more...
Criminals kill each other, crime rate drops
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Bella Macdonald
New Zealand Police are giving themselves a big pat on the back after statistics released show that reported crime in New Zealand has reduced, despite a significant increase in the number of murders. NZ police revealed a 5.2% decrease in national reported crime in their release of the national Read more...
Maddy Phillipps highly commended at Student Press Awards
Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Bella Macdonald
Critic is once again bathing in the nectar of success after taking out Best Student Publication at the annual Aotearoa Student Press Association (APSA) awards in Wellington on September 28. Otago’s student mag raked in the top prizes of Best Student Publication, Best Editorial, Best Series Read more...
“I didn’t have any injuries except a brain injury”
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Gus Gawn
What’s not to like about Nitro Circus? Action sports athletes who are equal parts talented and unhinged throwing and contorting themselves off enormous jumps on both conventional and improvised toys… it’s a great concept! The same sadistic curiosity that enticed people to attend events in the hope Read more...
New Apps for the Intolerant, Autistic, and Musically Illiterate
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Bella Macdonald
Millions of dollars were thrown around in the dragon’s den of Castle 1 Lecture theatre during the APPSTAR Showdown on Wednesday September 26. The event was the final stage of a competition in which entrants came up with an idea for a smartphone app to be developed by Otago Innovation Ltd. The Read more...
Student Artists Actually Explain the Meaning of their Work
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Callum Fredric
The 5th Annual OUSA Art Week put over $3000 into the hands of Dunedin’s student artists, with 56 out of the 200 pieces on display were sold. Students viewing the artwork were encouraged to vote for their favourite piece in the People’s Choice Awards. The winner was Chelsea Thomson’s work Read more...
Man Commits Suicide. Oops, Critic Broke the Law
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Zane Pocock
New media reporting guidelines released last year by the Chief Coroner have been called into question by University of Otago Professor David Fergusson and Auckland's Dr. Annette Beautrais in an editorial published in the New Zealand Medical Journal. Prof. Fergusson and Dr. Beautrais say that Read more...
Mental Health Nurses Define Yelling as Assault
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Margot Taylor
The increasing use of synthetic cannabis is being cited as a reason for the rising number of assaults on mental health workers. In the first seven months of the year there were 131 reported assaults on Otago Southern District Health Board mental health services staff, a rise of 37% on the same Read more...
City Councillor Edgar Putting the GC in DCC
Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Zane Pocock
OUSA President Logan Edgar has backed away from claims made on Radio One last Thursday that he is starting a campaign to be elected to the Dunedin City Council next October. He is, however, “really considering it”. In the meantime, Edgar is meeting this week with the Mayor and the Electoral Read more...
Colleges Officer Organises College Sports for Colleges
Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Juana Diesing
Aquinas scored a late goal to snatch the overall trophy from Arana last Wednesday, marking the end of the inaugural inter-College Soccer Trophy. Eight Colleges contested the first-ever competition, with all matches played under lights on Wednesday evenings at Logan Park. Aquinas was an early Read more...
I’m Gunna Break Your Face
Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Greg Hall
After the last incident regarding a certain Gus Gawn (Sports Editor and world renowned yonker) and the NZ Breakers, the powers that be at Critic decided to send their most popular reporter to the preseason game against the Wollongong Hawks. The Critic security team signed off on this straight away, Read more...
Fraudster Gambles On Freedom, Loses
Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Claudia Herron
Name suppression has been lifted for the former University of Otago accounts manager who admitted to stealing almost $240,000 from the University over seven years. Graeme “Petty Cash” Pettitt has pleaded guilty to eight charges of accessing the university’s electronic accounting system between March Read more...
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