Archive

Lez Feminables | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Glitter Grrl

Hey kids! By now, you’ve probably got to know your neighbours and classmates a bit better, made some new friends (and/or enemies), and experimented with alternative lifestyle choices, such as substance abuse or wearing long pants in summer. You might have spotted a few of Dunedin’s less mainstream Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by M and G

On the weird little road opposite Super Liquor central and the Hunter Centre sits Allpress, the headquarters of Allpress beans. Not only do they serve a brilliant bitter brew, they roast their own beans on site. Fresh. Prepare yourself to be served by ice queens who scorn all students that Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

The heady exploits of O-Week are now a hazy memory, lectures aren’t preliminary any more, and the icy charms of a Dunedin autumn have well and truly arrived here in the student ghetto. You may think it’s time to curl up in a ball, survive exclusively on mi goreng and milo, and await the release of Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

On Tuesday, the day before the Dunedin cricket test was due to start, the ODT decided to tempt fate. Rain washed out the entire first day of the test. As this column went to print on Wednesday night, the exact magnitude of the ODT’s fuckup was yet to be determined. And now, Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Elsie Jacobson

“... I’ve just been cutting onions. I’m making a lasagne ... for one ...” As the Flight of the Conchords song goes. But why? Why do onions make you bawl like Mufasa just died, and how can you make it stop? Science, bitches, has the answer. Onions have little packets of enzymes inside each Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Elsie Stone

This week, whilst waiting in the depressingly long Uniprint line, I had the misfortune of overhearing a conversation between two self-professed “buzzy cunts” as they loudly tried to outdo each other with stories of their drug-fuelled escapades from the weekend. The thing that struck me about these Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column is back for another year of shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to a bar and ply them with alcohol and food (in that order), then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds Read more...

Editorial | Issue 03

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Dear John Key, You probably don’t know me, John. I’m not like you, you see. I’m not the sort of person you generally hang out with. I’m not a rich, pinstripe suit-wearing banker or a slick corporate lobbyist. I’m just a regular guy, John. The sort of guy your government fucked Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic still doesn’t have a sponsor for the infamous Blind Date column. If you own a restaurant and want to gain publicity off the back of hilarious hookup attempts, hit us up at critic@critic.co.nz. If you want to go on a blind date, email your details to news@critic.co.nz. In the meantime, we gave Read more...

The Leek | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Campbell Ecklein

Following a rash of break-ins by intoxicated students at the Botanic Gardens over the past two weeks, Dunedin City Council officials have been forced to take extreme measures to put an end to these hijinks. The beautiful Botanic Gardens are open year-round to the public, but the gates are locked Read more...

Kant Stop Husserling | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Erma Dag

On Tuesday 5 March, make YOLO your official religion in the New Zealand census, safe in the knowledge that you have sound philosophical reasons behind you. YOLO is much more than just 2012’s most annoying new catchphrase, the bane of A&Es nationwide or the butt of such ruthless deconstruction Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Bryony Leeke

Human beings are capable of some pretty weird things when it comes to sex, as attested by the sordid tales of sexual misadventure to be heard on the North Dunedin grapevine. But the sleazy stories you overheard at your Monday morning lecture are nothing compared to the crazy copulations that go on Read more...

For Fuck's Sake | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Elsie Stone

Consider this my deep and sincere apology for not wanting to have sex with you. I feel like such a frigid bitch because you got nothing in return for all the nice things you did for me last night. Remember when I walked past your flat? You were outside with all your friends, playing Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week scientific progress abounds, and a cultural icon is born. 6 March, 1869: Dmitri Mendeleev presented the first periodic table to the Russian Chemical Society, which was particularly impressive because he’d left spaces for elements that apparently didn’t exist. The relevant Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi Everybody! So last week we talked about GPs and the importance of finding a good one. If you haven’t gone out and done that yet, consider this column plussage, because we’re gonna follow on from there today. Underpinning what makes a docotor “good” is their relationship with you. As Read more...

Lez Feminables | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Glitter Grrl

A lot of why I wanted to do this column had to do with illuminating words and phrases that can be problematic; words like “fag” and “bitch,” that kind of thing. Over the past couple of weeks, though, I’ve noticed that it’s sometimes the less outrageously vulgar insults that can pack more of a sting. Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by M and G

You may know Green Acorn as the café you stare at mindlessly whilst studying on the south side of Central Library, nestled alongside Sushi Station and Poppa’s Pizza. G hadn’t heard great things about the place so went in with extremely low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised. The elderly Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

The windswept esplanade of St. Clair is the beach-du-jour default for Dunedin residents and new Scarfies alike. Activities abound: marvel at the giant swathes of seaweed lazing about in piles on the sand, observe while the hardy Southern surfers navigate the waves in their foot-thick Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric

Critic hasn’t renewed its subscription to the ODT yet, partly because we don’t want to contribute 95 cents per day to extensive coverage of the Strath Taieri Collie Club’s centennial trials in Middlemarch and obsessive campaigns against K2. So we stole a copy of Wednesday’s ODT from Radio One and Read more...

Love Online | Issue 02

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Lovebirds

Critic created a female internet dating profile expecting a low standard of suavity. But not even we could be prepared for the barrage of sheer ineptitude that followed, each new suitor representing a new nadir in the evolution of mankind. This column is a word-for-word transcript of an Read more...