Booze Review: Great Northerns

Posted 6:32pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Joan of Rark

G’day cunts and cuntesses, shrimp on the barbie and all that. This week's booze reviews is Great Northerns, the official beer of drink driving to K’gari in your old man's ex mine 70 series landcruiser. But it's okay, ‘cos it’s not like driving on the beach at low Read more...

Booze Review: Speight’s Hazy Pale Ale

Posted 11:14am Monday 14th July 2025 by Joan of Rark

This article does not start with a sip, but with a journey. Of course, by journey I mean driving from my boozeless flat in the North East Valley to Rattray Street to pick up a rarer drop than most conjured up by those mad bastards under the Triple Star: Speight’s Hazy Pale Read more...

Booze Review: Victoria Bitter

Posted 10:39pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Sabrina Barpunter

Ah, Victoria Bitter, VB, Very Best, Vitamin B. This isn't just a beer, it's the unofficial IV drip of Aussie tradies and cricket players alike. Personally, I had never indulged in a VB before this experience so I had my fears. Would I grow a mullet? Would I have Vegemite toast for breakfast? Read more...

Booze Review: Protein Beer

Posted 6:01pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Gin Swigmore

“Bro, my business creating 0 calorie lemon-flavoured RTDs has gone under, who knew the market was so flooded?”   “Bro, my DJing career has failed and my dad has cut me out of the trust fund because of my crippling weed dependency. How are we going to fuel this Read more...

Booze Review: Parrotdog Birdseye

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 7th September 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Parrotdog is patriotic. It’s New Zealand owned and made, and nothing screams New Zealand more than nationwide pride in birds and an economy so dire you’ll have to sell a kidney to afford a box. There wasn’t a price listed on these bad boys, and with there only being three boxes on Read more...

Booze Review: Kingfisher Strong

Posted 4:46pm Saturday 17th August 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Kingfisher Strong, unlike the kōtare, is an allegedly exotic and foreign beer. Yes, it may be foreign, but this beverage tends to be about as exciting as that one wounder at a party showing you his Year 12 1st XV highlights on Hudl whilst unironically calling them his ‘glory Read more...

Booze Review: Mac’s Apparition

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 28th July 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

The Mac’s line of beers can aptly be described as fake craft beer. Like weed, Mac’s beers are a gateway to the expensive, harder shit. Before you know it, this drop will have any soon-to-be graduate breatha loudly expressing their political views over a pint and reflecting on their glory Read more...

Booze Review: Heineken 0.0%

Posted 3:41pm Saturday 20th July 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Drinking a non-alcoholic beer for the first time is a strange experience. It tastes like beer, smells like beer, makes you crave nicotine like beer, yet there’s something missing. It’s like drinking out of a week-old luke-warm keg that has long lost any sense of its carbonation. Read more...

Booze Review: Steinlager Classic

Posted 6:01pm Saturday 13th July 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

It’s been argued that Steinlager is New Zealand's beer. It's what defines us as Kiwis compared to the god awful beers that Australia produces. Steinlager is like Speights' older cousin who lives in Auckland; a bit more classy, but punishing whenever they speak. After tasting, we Read more...

Booze Review | Budweiser is Unpatriotic

Posted 8:10pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Chug Norris

Every country in the world has a national beer. Australia has VB, New Zealand has, for some fucking reason, Tui, and Budweiser is known first and foremost as the national beer of the trainwreck of a country that calls itself the United States. But something seems wrong about Budweiser representing Read more...