“I didn’t have any injuries except a brain injury”

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012

What’s not to like about Nitro Circus? Action sports athletes who are equal parts talented and unhinged throwing and contorting themselves off enormous jumps on both conventional and improvised toys… it’s a great concept! The same sadistic curiosity that enticed people to attend events in the hope Read more...

Student Politician Loves Spandex

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012

We have reached Issue 24 of Critic for the year. That means only three more to go, and it’s fair to say that the well of relevant local sports stories has run a little dry. With that in mind, I made the short trip across the hall from the Critic office to ask OUSA Exec board member Angus McDonald Read more...

Fantasy Sports: The Anti-sex

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012

Lurking just out of the sight of the casual sports fan is an ominous subculture: a pointless pursuit that robs sports fans of not only a high percentage of their waking hours, but also a good deal of their dignity, not to mention their allure to the opposite sex. I’m talking about fantasy sports: a Read more...

Uni Games

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012

Photo Caption: This is Mikey. She did real good at Uni Snow Games. That’s why there is a photo of her. Not cause she’s blonde. Promise. For the first time in eight years Otago University did not win the Michael Forrestall Memorial Shield for the best team at the Uni Snow Games. Numbers were Read more...

Look for your name in this club rugby finals wrap

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012

An extravaganza of club code at University Oval wrapped up the local competitions two weekends ago. Southern took on Dunedin in both the Prem 2 and Prem Colts finals, held on a sun-soaked but slippery uni oval pitch. It was a remarkable achievement that the Dunedin club’s teams qualified for the Read more...

Signs of life in Otago rugby

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012

The Otago Rugby Union has been chewed up and shat out this off season. For a while it looked like they might not even be able to afford a team, let alone win any games. But with the ITM Cup already underway and an exciting win against Northland, things are looking up. Critic asked injured student Read more...

Five sports writers worth reading

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 19th August 2012

The thing about sports writing is that there’s a shitload of it out there, and most of it is complete garbage. I call it “down the pub syndrome”. In the past, semi-literate sports hogs would reserve their moronic ramblings for down the pub. Not anymore. There are enough “user content” sports sites Read more...

What if Nadzeya Ostapchuk is innocent?

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 19th August 2012

We knew it all along, didn't we? That hideous she-beast from the wilds of Belarus could never beat “our Val” without cheating. They're all cheats over there, aren't they? Bloody communists. She looks like a man! She’s a filthy cheat! Ban her for life! And so on. It seems like everything just Read more...

Sharks almost win, Eels slightly better

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012

Hayden Parker will never have to pay for another beer at the Taieri Rugby Club after he kicked the Eels to a show-stopping victory in the Premier club rugby final last Saturday. Parker’s 47-metre penalty with time up on the Forsyth Barr Stadium clock capped off a 24-22 comeback victory, sealing his Read more...

Religion in Sport? No Way.

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012

Religion is everywhere in sport. If you watch any sport at all, it’s impossible to avoid seeing someone thank the big man upstairs for letting them make all the people they have beaten feel like shit. Luckily in New Zealand we like to keep it to a minimum, and thankfully when a prominent Read more...