Editorial: South Dunedin Has the Superior Fatty Lane

Editorial: South Dunedin Has the Superior Fatty Lane

I think it’s safe to say that except for trips to Pak’nSave or the Warehouse (RIP Kmart), most students who travel south-er than the Octy only do so to surf or get a coffee on the Esplanade and wish that they surf. This whole mag this week is full of reasons why you should visit South Dunedin and the various other south-er suburbs in Dunedin, but honestly, if there is only one thing that should get you there, it’s that South D (specifically Andy Bay Road) has the superior fatty lane.

I know what you’re thinking. Like, yeah, having more options is nice, but is the drive/bus/Uber out there worth it? YES.

Firstly, the later you go the fewer lines there are, which cannot be said for North D. There’s also much more parking, so you can legit have a feast in the comfort of the car park. Or you’re only five minutes away from beautiful beaches. In North D, you’re five minutes away from chlamydia.

What they have:

  • KFC
  • McDonald’s
  • Burger King
  • Wendy’s
  • KiwiYo
  • Subway
  • The Cheesecake Shop (!!)
  • Domino’s
  • TANK
  • Hell Pizza
  • Bunnings snags if you’re early enough in the day
  • Pita Pit
  • Coupland’s Bakery (not a takeaway, but North D’s fatty lane has substantively dropped in utility since Coupland’s left)

These cover all bases of sweet, salty, spicy and savoury. North D just has sad McDonalds’ desserts that I’d rather have spilled down my shirt than in my mouth. South D KiwiYo has a cute server and a machine that takes selfies and posts them to their Facebook page. One day, if you’re brave, you will flirt with him and take a picture on the machine, then comment on the photo when posted; all in the hope that he will remember you, stalk his work Facebook page and track you down. He won’t. But the yoghurt will still be a nice change of pace.

Oh and the McDonald’s has a playground. Enough said. Weeeeee!

This article first appeared in Issue 16, 2020.
Posted 4:19pm Sunday 30th August 2020 by Sinead Gill.