Man from Milton Claims Auckland ‘the Worst City He’s Ever Been To’ Despite Invercargill Being the Only Other City He's Seen

Man from Milton Claims Auckland ‘the Worst City He’s Ever Been To’ Despite Invercargill Being the Only Other City He's Seen

One night on the piss, Jock McClacker, a 23-year-old from Milton, loudly told his friends that Auckland was a the worst city he had ever been to. He cited a large “wankers and gays” population as the reason behind this assessment, to the agreement of his peers, none of whom had actually been to Auckland.

Stella Manning, Jock’s girlfriend of thirteen years, then told the crowd of intoxicated bogans that her sister had moved to Auckland for Uni only the year before, and was now a “total snobby cunt” – something not at all to do with genetics, but squarely the fault of the negative influence of the big city.

Jock swore right then and there that if any of his mates visited Auckland that they would be “cut off from the crew.”

“INVERS HARD!” he cheered.

This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2019.
Posted 10:13pm Sunday 29th September 2019 by The Critical Tribune.