Archive

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 11:14pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Critic

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)

Posted 11:12pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Hugh Askerud

Part 1: Develop self-awareness 1 Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know Read more...

Outgoing Presidential Address

Posted 8:25pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Keegan Wells

Tēnā koutou,  Wow! What a year! We laughed, we cried, we paddled the flooded Leith, we got a new plinth, and had a lot of $4 lunch along the way. In one of my final acts of dictatorship, I am stealing these two pages of Critic Te Ārohi.  I have lived many different Read more...

Choose Your Own Adventure: Exam Procrastination Edition

Posted 7:39pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Nicky Patterson

1.  The end of the year has rolled around once again and there’s nothing you’d rather be doing right now than studying for your 60% exam. But before you do, what’s the harm in just taking a little preemptive brain break? As you look around from your freshly obtained perch in Read more...

The Game of Life, But It’s Just Your Summer 24/25

Posted 6:28pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Answer these questions and we’ll tell you what you will spend your summer doing. 1. What is the best Campus Shop pie? Mince & Cheese  Steak & Cheese  Butter Chicken Pepper Steak Veggie Korma Spinach & Feta Roll 2. What is your go-to music genre for Read more...

The Game of Love

Posted 7:29pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

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Everything I Know About (Platonic) Love

Posted 7:16pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Ellie Bennett

I came to university thinking I’d find The One. I was obsessed with the idea that I’d lock eyes with someone across the lecture theatre and be swept into this great, all-consuming romance; that I’d leave here after three years with not only a degree, but a soulmate. That’s Read more...

Homo-geneous

Posted 9:27am Sunday 6th October 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

I don’t even let Georgie get a word out. “It happened again.” They blink, trying to catch up with what I said. “What happened again?” “It. It happened again.” Georgie sighs, “You really have to be more clear.” “She had been fucking Read more...

The Official Dunner Lover Test

Posted 8:31am Sunday 6th October 2024 by Nina Brown

Find out where you rate on the scale from loveless hermit to hopeless romantic. In the pursuit of a crush or during a courtship, have you ever… Used dating apps? Deleted dating apps for them? Stalked their mum's Facebook for pictures of them? Gone through their tagged Read more...

Opinion: She’s Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl(friend), She Has ADHD

Posted 11:16am Saturday 5th October 2024 by Jodie Evans

The manic pixie dream girl doesn’t do small talk, only enigmatic discussions about the universe and its infinite possibilities. She stargazes from abandoned rooftops, sings out loud in the supermarket, and writes poetry on bathroom stalls. Her love language is dancing barefoot in the rain. She Read more...