The Flatmate Erotica: Within Or Without You

Posted 7:55pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Lady Jane Grey

There’s something uniquely unholy about a student flat – a place where personal growth, emotional regression, and sexual chaos all happen in the same 10-square-metre living room. You move in thinking you're just renting a room but, really, you’re signing up for a year-long Read more...

Popping Cherries: Virginity Horror Stories

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Stella Weston

Over the last three months I’ve been asking my friends, friends of friends, distant associates, and girls I’d met ten minutes ago in the bathroom how they lost their virginity. I was surprised at how many women were open about it and happy to yap – some with nice wholesome Read more...

Debatable: Bush or no bush?

Posted 7:59pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Bush I am sick and tired of razors, of ingrown hairs, of the unspoken expectation that our genitals should resemble a Christmas ham. I, for one, don’t give a fuck if you have pubes. Frankly, we have them for a reason and they deserve a comeback. Not as a quirky thing or as a feminist Read more...

Editorial: Let’s Humanise Sex Again

Posted 8:02pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Nina Brown

The contemporary modern dating scene gets a look in the mirror in this year’s sex issue. I spent the past week carrying a vintage Playboy in my bag, which was kindly loaned to me as part of my research. With plenty of full-frontal bush, tips for pleasing your wife, and ads for gentlemanly Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Long Arm of the Law

Posted 8:42pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Dirty Talk

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous.   Last summer, I started seeing a girl with a thing for urban exploration. Our shared interest was part risk, part sensual – there’s a rush to making out on a Read more...

Moaningful Confession: Play It Cool

Posted 6:06pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Critic

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. Two weeks ago, I met the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. Our chance encounter outside the Clubs & Societies building led to two weeks of flirting more skillful than Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Acquaintance with Disadvantages

Posted 5:08pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Critic

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. When I was 19, I started sleeping with a 29-year-old man who thought he was incredibly charming in a sort of post-ironic, tortured-intellectual kind of way. I mostly just Read more...

The Official Critic Te Ārohi Sex Playlist

Posted 2:21pm Sunday 4th August 2024 by Critic

CRITIC’S BEST SONGS TO HAVE SEX TO: Confidence – Ocean Alley Careless Whisper – George Michael Hungry Eyes – Eric Carmen Just The Two of Us (feat. Bill Withers) – Grover Washington, Jr.  Fly Me To the Moon – Frank Sinatra Kiss Me – Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Halloween Rendezvous

Posted 6:43pm Sunday 5th May 2024 by Critic

It was Halloween. I got all dressed and ready into my costume, and boy did I feel sexy. Pairing that with many drinks later at a Halloween party, I thought I was hot shit. You know when you are feeling yourself so much that you just want someone else's hands all over you? Just me? Okay fine. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The Rubber Raxxer

Posted 9:19pm Friday 26th April 2024 by Critic

I had been talking to Latin (easiest decoded code name ever) for maybe a month before my return to the glorious city of Auckland, but nothing had come of it – at least not yet. Upon landing, I promptly received a text from a high school friend inviting me to go with her to town. Lo and behold, Read more...