Features

The Most Dangerous Places on Earth

Colombia:
   Dirty little drug-running Escobar wannabes have made Colombia one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Paramilitary groups have waged war on the government with no end in site, contributing to a frenzy of murders. Another concern for Colombia is the high number of kidnappings, peaking at about three and a half thousand in 2000. Guerillas began this phenomenon in the 1970s, honing their skills on gorillas before moving on to bigger fish, as it were. Perhaps the most famous kidnapping of all time occurred in Colombia, when Mickey Rourke was abducted during a routine coke run. Luckily, he survived relatively unscathed. 
 
    Russia:
   Perhaps scariest country on our list. The Russian mafia is not like the Italian mafia, all friendly and greasy and comical and whatnot. These are some bad motherfuckers. The Republic of Chechnya, north of Georgia, is the worst area of the lot: it’s brimming with whores, and rife with drug trafficking. Anyone considering travelling there, consider this a warning: they target foreigners. Cash and electronics are targeted, so if you’re looking to claim some insurance and pick up that iPhone, book in a quick jaunt and scam a few free upgrades. Necessary evil. 
 
    Christchurch:
   Crimeschurch. A prostitute lands in the Avon roughly every 17 seconds. There have been reports of children contracting STIs as a result of taking a swim in the fabled river, which locals have renamed The Devil’s Brothel. If things weren’t bad enough for the South Island’s largest city, the recent earthquake has seen resources being poured into the clean-up, resources that are desperately needed to help police clean up the streets – that last ‘clean up’ is a metaphor for all you Southlanders. 
 
    Mexico:
   Sticking with the theme of the South Americans, the locals seem destined to involve themselves in drug trafficking. This is due to the resource-rich third world countries supplying greedy Americans with much of their cocaine, heroin, and marijuana. One trend in Mexico is crime against journalists. Fifteen have been killed since the year 2000 alone. This just goes to show the distance Critic goes, risking a bloody murder at the hands of a Mexican drug cartel.
 
    Detroit:
   While no longer in the heyday of the 1970s, Detroit is not just a rock city; it’s a crime capital. Nearly two percent of its people are likely to fall victim to violent crime, and nearly six percent will be the victim of property crime. Tough times. So let this be a lesson to those Dunedinites that complain about South D scumbags starting fights on a Saturday night – at least you’re not in Detroit.
 
    South Africa:
   South Africa has been described as the “rape capital of the world.” Such shameless self-promotion has seen them host the Football World Cup, and become a frontrunner in the worldwide race for social segregation. As shocking as this description is, what makes it even scarier is the fact that more than 10 million people in South Africa are infected with HIV. So as a footnote to perhaps the most horrible experience a person can undergo, odds on you’ll come out with a terminal disease.
 
    Somalia:
   When describing the waters around the horn of Africa, to call them self-governing would be a major euphemism. To be brutally honest, they’re swarming with AK47-wielding Somali pirates, prone to holding craft and crew to ransom, and likely to shoot at the drop of a hat. Territorial control of the region is carved amongst clans, and inter-clan warfare has claimed thousands of lives. The area is a cauldron of violence and bloodshed, a fact backed up by recent visitor, ex-Shorty Street bad boy Shane Cortese. 
 
    Iraq:
   Iraq would be without a doubt the most-mentioned country on the New Zealand news, local interest stories excepted. Be it suicide bombs, kidnappings, or detonated mines, Iraq accounts for the slaughter of thousands. Since the Iraq War began in 2003, the lives of 650 000 civilians have been claimed. Whilst much of this is war-related, the crime rates in Iraq are through the roof, adding insult to injury for a country struggling to achieve peace.