Ethel & Hyde | Issue 5

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 5

Dear Ethyl and Hyde, 

My lab partner is a fucking dumbass and keeps interrupting me during my calculations etc. to ask questions. It messes up my train of thought and as a result I’m not getting stuff cemented mentally. How can I get them to stfu?

Disclaimer: Student Support advises you to take Ethel’s advice.

Send your questions to:
ethelandhyde@ousa.org.nz

Ethel says

If you cannot change lab partner by sitting in a different seat at the start of the lab, the best approach is to have a conversation with them about how you are affected by their questioning interruptions and set up some boundaries. Often people who ask too many questions have some form of anxiety that they are trying to alleviate, and just ignoring them will make them ask even more questions. To avoid increasing the number of questions tell them that you cannot answer their questions while you are doing your calculations because it makes you muddled and puts you off, so they at least have a chance of seeing the situation from your point of view. Give them a time slot when they can ask questions, and suggest they write down ones they think of outside of that. A couple of lines you could pull out if the boundaries are breached are: “I’m not sure ask the demonstrator,” “I’ll talk to you about that after I finish this,” “I can’t concentrate, please stop.”

Hyde says

Talk to the hand cos the face ain’t listening. Sounds like it’s time for a crash course in Classical Conditioning. One of the most effective ways to condition a beast to behave appropriately is the use of electric shocks. This technique is used in many labs around the world, so perfectly appropriate for your setting. Fortunately for you, there is a great product on the market called a Hand Shock Buzzer, for only $US10.99. Once you have this devise, super glue it to the end of a collapsing umbrella shocking side facing outwards and put the umbrella sleeve back on. Take this with you to every lab. It won’t take long for you to see the questions in their eyes trickle down to the oral cavity, wait a moment longer until they are half way through their question, and gently lift your shockbrella and softly touch their side. Do this every time they ask a question until they have learnt their lesson and S T F U.  

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2017.
Posted 2:34pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Student Support.