Dear Ethel,
I’ve just found out my mum is really sick, with possibly only a few months left. I want to drop out and be with her but she says she wants me to keep studying. Only I can’t focus and what if I have to go home during exam time? What can I do?
-Tom
Dear Tom,
So sorry to hear about your mum. That’s a truly awful situation. We are sending you a big SSC hug and hope that you might drop in to have a chat about this in person if you feel up to it. I’m not sure what year of study you are in, but that might be something worth factoring into whatever decision you make.
These situations are different for different people. For some, study can be a helpful distraction, for others, they are ‘frozen’ and unable to concentrate on anything. Then it’s a matter of balancing up what your mum wants from you and what you want. What action would carry the least regrets for you? You may want to confer with trusted family members and friends to get the advice of people who have known you (and your mum) for a long time.
It does not necessarily have to be an ‘either/or’ situation. There are provisions within University policies for exceptional circumstances. These range from special consideration for assessments and/or final examinations, to withdrawal under exceptional circumstances. To get special consideration for internal assessments you will need supporting documentation. Talk to each of your lecturers or paper coordinators if you haven’t already. Let them know what is going on for you so that they are aware that you may need some extra assistance.
For special consideration in final examinations, the decision is made by the Examinations Office. The important thing for finals is that the ‘impairment’ needs to have affected you within 14 days of your exam and your application for special consideration has to be submitted no later than five days after the last exam you want special consideration for.
We’d be very happy to talk through the various options with you in person. Feel free to drop into 5 Ethel B or get in touch through help@ousa.org.nz.
It’s also really important to look after yourself at this time. Eat well, get plenty of sleep, exercise, and spend time with friends.
Whole lotta love and hope to see you soon,
-Ethel xox